English usage

  • In your own time, Bristol City Council!

    Pedestrian crossing controls
    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
    The best part of 30 years ago,the late cycle campaigner Chris Hutt of Bristol’s Cyclebag remarked that perhaps the simplest way in which mobility within the city could be improved would be to tweak the timings of pedestrian crossings so that they switched over to the pedestrian green phase within seconds of the button being pushed.

    Fifteen years after Chris’ death it looks like something similar to what he suggested is finally being implemented – albeit half-heartedly – by Bristol City Council.

    Today’s Bristol Post reports that around 100 crossings – i.e. a fraction of those in the city – will be changed as suggested by Chris all that time ago.The change has been described by councillors as a “cost-effective way to get traffic-calming measures” that have already proved popular on some busy roads. The setting, known as “pre-timed max”, will also be installed on new crossings as they are provided.

    In addition, the tweak will only be made to stand-alone pedestrian crossings, not those associated with junctions where they are just as badly needed and could be equally as beneficial.

    Commenting on the scheme, Green Councillor Emma Edwards said: “When people realised what had happened, I got phone calls saying ‘can we have one down here and there, and it would be useful here’. Residents really love them and it’s such a cost-effective way to get traffic calming measures in and to help with things like school routes.”

    What has taken you so long, Bristol City Council?

    Your ‘umble scribe’s best guess is that the idea was filed away in the “not invented here” cabinet combined with the propensity of highways department staff not being able to see beyond the bonnet of their respective motorised tinned three-piece suites.

    Given these shortcomings, your correspondent is only prepared to give the council one extremely grudging cheer.

  • Mermaids, volcanism and… Google Translate!

    Google Translate, the Mountain View behemoth’s translation service is noted for not being very good on technical terminology, even of the most basic kind. Furthermore, it also struggles with a little thin called context, i.e. the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea and in terms of which it can be fully understood.

    When Google Translate gets the context wrong and confuses protecting the public with ancient Greek mythological figures, the result is at the very least amusing and at must alarming and downright dangerous, as revealed by the following social media post by Prof. Jenni Barclay of the University of Bristol.

    Post reads In this case of volcanic eruption, you will hear mermaids. Do not ignore the mermaids; they are there for your safety. Perils of Google Translate No. 44a. People seeking greater warning of volcanic eruption want sirens _not_ mermaids. (Spanish: Sirenas).

    Prof. Barclay’s research is the reduction of risk and prevention of disaster in volcanic settings, with a particular focus both on volcanic processes and the social processes that amplify volcanic risk.

    My question for Prof. Barclay is are mermaids a social process? 😉

    Mis-translations definitely are!

  • All day?

    A crime against the English language appeared in my social media feed today. It loomed out of a photograph of part of the menu from an unidentified McDonald’s drive through somewhere in the United States.

    Menu for All Day Breakfast, but served ONLY UNTIL 1PM
    Dies irae* if you roll up at 1.01 pm?

    It centres on the use of the word day whose meaning for this context is provided by Merriam-Webster:

    “the time of light between one night and the next”.

    When combined with the words all and breakfast one would expect the fare proffered to be provided throughout the hours of daylight between sunrise and sunset; or at the very least to be available between the business’ opening and closing times.

    Not “ONLY UNTIL 1PM” as the menu shouts loudly.

    The picture seems to have been taken some while ago, as the price of eggs in the USA has rocketed due to avian influenza and Walmart is rationing egg purchases. The egg shortage has not gone unnoticed under the golden arches either: Newsweek reports a customer of a McDonald’s in Fairfield, Connecticut was charged $7.29 per Egg McMuffin and complained about it on social media.

    * = Day of wrath (usually divine. Ed.).

  • Muskrat less popular by the day

    With the inauguration of the disgraced 47th and 45th president of the United States, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat commonly known as Donald John Trump, it has been noticed that a certain level of authoritarianism – or even fascism – has entered American politics in The Felon’s desire to Make America Grate Again (or something like that. Ed.).

    Of course, The Felon is not implementing his far-right agenda in isolation.

    One of his biggest aides and pro-tem best buddy is the fascist known as Elon Reeve Musk, a man of capable of wielding vast wealth but very few brain cells. He is currently leading the charge to destroy US federal government departments in the drive for alleged efficiency; and is messing up badly, on account of which his approval rating in the USA is rapidly declining, but has yet to reach the levels seen in the UK.

    The Muskrat is of course best known for being the man who invested in Tesla cars, which was incorporated by Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning in 2003. The Muskrat was only involved in the company’s first funding round, i.e. he just provided the money, not the technical expertise.

    Partly as a result of The Muskrat’s overt fascist sympathies, The Muskrat’s popularity has been adversely affected.

    Tesla car sales have also been affected by The Muskrat’s links to The Felon and his fascist sympathies too. As The Guardian reports, sales of Tesla in Europe in January 2025 were half what they were the previous year.

    In addition to this, the Tesla factory on the outskirts of Berlin has been used as a screen for another action by Led By Donkeys (posts passim), whilst showrooms have been targeted by demonstrators and even defaced.

    Next to Tesla illuminated sign, a projection with the word Heil and a picture of Musk giving a fascist salute

    In London, fake Tesla advertisements showing a saluting Muskrat and claiming the vehicles – renamed Swasticars – go from zero to 1939 in 3 seconds have started appearing.

    Poster showing Elon Musk giving fascist salute from a Tesla and featuring the slogan goes from 0 to 1939 in 3 seconds and at the foot the words Tesla and TheSwasticar

    Finally, in other news, The Muskrat, who also hold Canadian citizenship via his mother, is the subject of a federal petition seeking to revoke his citizenship. At the time of writing it has over 237,000 signatures.

  • A put-down from Linus

    Linux was once famously described as Communism by former Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer.

    The non-corporate, contributive and sharing nature of free and open source software and operating systems is one aspect that has always made it attractive to your ‘umble scribe, who comes from a family where both branches have been left-leaning for three generations and possibly longer.

    Linus Torvalds, the creator and chief developer of the Linux kernel, the heart of the operating system, has a reputation for plain speaking, to put matters politely.

    Linus has responded forthrightly – but mostly politely to someone who aimed the phrase “woke Communist propaganda” in his direction via social media recently and set out his political views plainly for all to see, as shown in the following screenshot.


    Thank you, Linus, for your humanity, never mind the kernel. 😀

  • Nanny meets fascism

    In 1964, Walt Disney released Mary Poppins starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke, the man with the worst Cockney accent ever to be recorded for release on celluloid.

    One of the film’s biggest song and dance tunes was a catchy little number sung by the two stars and entitled “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious“.


    According to the song’s Wikipedia page, songwriters the Sherman Brothers have given several conflicting explanations for the word’s origin, in one instance claiming to have coined it themselves, based on their memories of having created double-talk words as children. At another time they are on record as having written the following:

    When we were little boys in the mid-1930s, we went to a summer camp in the Adirondack Mountains, where we were introduced to a very long word that had been passed down in many variations through many generations of kids. … The word as we first hear it was super-cadja-flawjalistic-espealedojus.

    Scroll forward sixty-one years from Mary Poppins on the silver screen and Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious has become part of the English language.

    Furthermore, as my social media timeline this week has revealed, the word itself has been parodied and used as a pun in connection with one person in particular, the disgraced 47th and 45th president of the United States, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat commonly known as Donald John Trump, who is currently dealing enthusiastically and vindictively with punishing political opponents, as well as dismantling the federal government as part of his mission to Make America Grate Again (or something like that. Ed.)

    Cardboard sign bearing the handwritten slogan Super Callous Fragile Racist Sexist Nazi Potus
    Sounds about right!
  • Rachel buys magic beans

    The 1734 tale of “The Story of Jack Spriggins and the Enchanted Bean“, better known nowadays as “The History of Jack and the Bean-Stalk” in the version published in 1807, all hinges on Jack, the poor country boy and the hero of the story swapping the family cow at market for a handful of magic beans, much to the dismay of his mother.

    Official portrait of Rachel Reeves. Any resemblance to a competent economist is purely coincidentalWhat has a fairy tale about gullibility have to do with the current the Chancellor of the Exchequer, one Rachel Jane Reeves, who despite her qualifications from New College, Oxford (PPE) and the London School of Economics (doctorate in economics) appears to suffer from the same ailment as young Jack?

    Well, Ms Reeves seems to have been sold a complete fantasy by her civil service minders in the advice given to her in respect of her proposed announcement later this week of a third runway at London’s Heathrow airport to counter any opposition, as reported yesterday in The Times.

    The proposals for a third runaway at the capital’s main airport have long been a source of opposition and the latest incarnation thereof has drawn opposition from Energy Secretary Ed Miliband, London mayor Sadiq Khan and local London MPs Andy Slaughter (Hammersmith and Chiswick), Fleur Anderson (Putney), Marsha de Cordova (Battersea), John McDonnell (Hayes & Harlington) and Ruth Cadbury (Brentford & Isleworth).

    And the complete fantasy bought by Ms Reeves? As justification for airport expansion, she is on record as saying the third runaway is justified because of recent aviation fuel innovations.

    “Sustainable aviation fuel is changing carbon emissions from flying.”

    The only drawback to her argument is that there is, of course, no such thing as sustainable aviation fuel. As reported by The Guardian in 2024, a paper on sustainable jet fuels from the Institute for Policy Studies found that expectations for these were not realistic. Chuck Collins, co-author of the report remarked as follows:

    To bring these fuels to the scale needed would require massive subsidies, the trade-offs would be unacceptable and would take resources aware from more urgent decarbonization priorities.

    It’s a huge greenwashing exercise by the aviation industry. It’s magical thinking that they will be able to do this.

    A further study by The Royal Society in 2023 found that over half of the UK’s agricultural land would be needed to produce biofuel to meet the country’s existing aviation fuel demand.

    Not only is Ms Reeves indulging in greenwashing, there's an accusation of hypocrisy on the charge sheet too. She was prepared to argue against the expansion of Leeds Bradford airport near her Yorkshire constituency due to concerns about air and noise pollution.

    As The Times piece helpfully points out:

    In 2020, Reeves objected to a new terminal for the Leeds Bradford airport near her constituency, arguing that it “would significantly increase air and noise pollution” and “undermine vital efforts to ensure that Leeds upholds its commitment to become a carbon neutral city by 2030.”
  • What We Leave Behind

    Your ‘umble scribe’s recent stay in Sydney coincided with the Sydney Festival, a major arts festival held for three weeks in January every year since its inception in 1977.

    On my penultimate day in Australia your correspondent had arranged to visit the Museum of Contemporary Art Australia and arrived rather early. While waiting to rendezvous, a volunteer for Cave Urban outside a gazebo at Tallawoladah Lawn persuaded yours truly to take part in What We Leave Behind, a participatory event involving lots of split bamboo, market pens and people’s imaginations.

    Leaflet reads WHAT WE LEAVE BEHIND CAVE URBAN Come down to Tallawoladah Lawn outside the Museum of Contemporary Art Australia) to share your messages of hope for our planet. Your written messages will be woven into this stunning bamboo art installation. 8am-7pm daily

    Members of the public were invited to leave messages of hope for the planet on strips of bamboo which are being woven into a structure.

    My positive message: “Let homo sapiens finally live up to its Latin species name“.
  • Stolen!

    Sydney Central railway station has many memorials, of which the most prominent is that to railway staff who lost their lives in war. It’s right in the middle of the central concourse up against the back wall.

    However, there is another far less prominent one near the left luggage concession and Platform 1 that commemorates a war of a different kind, a war waged not against an aggressive or hostile foreign power, but on indigenous culture and heritage.

    It’s very simple and consists of a grey metal frame containing a large panel of indigenous artwork and an inscription, as shown in the photograph below.

    Memorial to Stolen Generations at Sydney Central railway station

    It commemorates the Stolen Generations, which Wikipedia describes as “The Stolen Generations (also known as Stolen Children) were the children of Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander descent who were removed from their families by the Australian federal and state government agencies and church missions, under acts of their respective parliaments.

    The wording on the memorial reads:

    Transport for NSW acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children were forcibly removed from their families and communities due to past government policies and practices. These children are known as the Stolen Generations. Platform 1 is where these children arrived, were separated from their siblings and sent to institutions throughout the state.

    Some of these children never made it home, living their lives disconnected from their families and communities and not knowing their true heritage.

    This memorial is dedicated to the Stolen Generations and their descendants.

    As stated in the station memorial, this removal was neither voluntary nor peaceful, as illustrated in the artwork entitled The Taking of the Children on the 1999 Great Australian Clock on the Queen Victoria Building (QVB), Sydney, by artist Chris Cooke.

    The Taking of the Children by Chris Cooke

    The stated aim of the so-called “resocialisation” programmes was to improve the integration of Aboriginal people into modern [European-Australian, i.e. white] society. Nevertheless, a recent study conducted in Melbourne reported that there was no tangible improvement in the social position of “removed” Aboriginal people as compared to “non-removed”. In the fields of employment and post-secondary education, the removed children had about the same results as those who were not removed, but caused those involved great mental harm and trauma. A 2019 study by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) found that children living in households with members of the Stolen Generations are more likely “to experience a range of adverse outcomes“, including poor health, especially mental health, missing school and living in poverty. Among the Stolen Generations there are high incidences of anxiety, depression, PTSD and suicide, along with alcohol abuse, with the associated unstable parenting and family situations.

    The federal states of Australia now all have redress and compensation schemes for the victims, but money is no substitute for not having suffered in the first place.

    However, Australia is not the only country invaded by the British where indigenous peoples were maltreated. Similar indignities were suffered by First Nations children in Canada. In what looks like a very similar scheme, residential schools were created to isolate Indigenous children from the influence of their own culture and religion in order to assimilate them into the dominant white Euro-Canadian culture.

    The same pattern can also be seen in Aotearoa (which some still call New Zealand. Ed.) in what Al Jazeera describes as a quiet genocide. More than 100,000 children – mostly indigenous Maori were taken from their parents and placed in state welfare institutions from the 1940s through to the late 1980s.

    If these systems all developed independently, there does seem to be a lot of crossover – one might even say collusion – with trauma and loss of culture and heritage (and sometimes lives. Ed.) as the result.

  • English imperialism alive and well in Australia

    I’m currently in Australia for my niece’s wedding (which was wonderful, by the way. Ed.).

    This is the first time your ‘umble scribe has been to abroad an Anglophone country. Australia has sensibly adopted the metric system of weights and measures, something the Untied Kingdom has yet to do. In the lengthy deliberations about metrication, it was mooted that conversion of the currency to a decimal system was an essential first step. The UK did adopt decimal currency in 1971, a long time after it had first been proposed in 1824 (separately from the introduction of metrication. Ed.).

    Australia shares an alleged head of state, an unelected monarch, with the UK and this is reflected in currency, with coins showing the head of the Mountbatten-Windsor family, as can be seen from an Australian 50 cents piece.

    Australian 50 cents piece showing the profile of someone who called herself Elizabeth the second
    Elizabeth the what?

    Readers will note that Elizabeth is described as the second of that name by the Roman numerals.

    Your correspondent can’t help asking when were the dates for the reign of Elizabeth the first of Australia (hint: there are none. Ed.).

    On social media, your ‘umble scribe has also had it pointed out to him that within the UK, coins also bore the inscription Elizabeth II, even though someone called Elizabeth has never been crowned as ruler of Scotland, which can be regarded as equally insensitive to Scots and their history.

    But whether in Australia or the small group of islands off the western coast of Europe, it is apparent to all with open eyes – and an open mind – that English imperialism – i.e. a system in which a country rules other countries – is alive and well and likely to continue despite the efforts of the likes of Senator Lidia Thorpe.