Bristol | Steve Woods

Bart Nil gets a gong

27/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

According to the city council’s website: “The Lord Mayor’s Medals are awarded to highlight the local, unpaid community work and achievement that’s helped to improve the lives of Bristol’s citizens.”

Good news was received this morning that the Barton Hill Litter Group I help organise has been awarded a Lord Mayor’s Medal after being nominated by Lawrence Hill ward councillor Yassin Mohamud. Thanks, Yassin!

Alex, Steve and Ronit with the fruits of the March 2025 litter pick. Image courtesy of Eric Green

We’ve been sent a letter to confirm the award and attend the award ceremony next month at the Lord Mayor’s official residence, the Mansion House.

The letter from the Lord Mayor’s office is quoted in full below.

Dear Barton Hill Litter Group,

Re: The Lord Mayor of Bristol’s Medal
As you may be aware, the Lord Mayor of Bristol’s medal is awarded to Bristol’s unsung heroes who serve the people of Bristol through voluntary and community work or charitable acts of work.

I am writing to inform you that Barton Hill Litter Group have been selected as a recipient.

The medal will be presented in a very special ceremony on:

Tuesday 15 April at 3.00pm and will be held at
The Mansion House, Clifton Down.

The Lord Mayor would be delighted if you and a guest could join him and other recipients. I will also be writing to the person who nominated you to attend the ceremony.

I would be grateful if you could confirm your attendance via lordmayor [at] bristol.gov.uk by Wednesday 9 April. If you are unable to attend, please let me know if there is anyone who can represent you on the day?

Bristol City Council will issue a press release and the press may wish to contact you in advance of the ceremony. Please can you confirm if you are happy to be contacted by the press and for information on your nomination to be released publicly (including social media).

Yours, etc.

Congratulations to all our regular and occasional pickers. You’ve done yourselves, us and the district proud. Give yourselves a hearty pat on the back!
In your own time, Bristol City Council!

26/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Politics

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
The best part of 30 years ago,the late cycle campaigner Chris Hutt of Bristol’s Cyclebag remarked that perhaps the simplest way in which mobility within the city could be improved would be to tweak the timings of pedestrian crossings so that they switched over to the pedestrian green phase within seconds of the button being pushed.

Fifteen years after Chris’ death it looks like something similar to what he suggested is finally being implemented – albeit half-heartedly – by Bristol City Council.

Today’s Bristol Post reports that around 100 crossings – i.e. a fraction of those in the city – will be changed as suggested by Chris all that time ago.The change has been described by councillors as a “cost-effective way to get traffic-calming measures” that have already proved popular on some busy roads. The setting, known as “pre-timed max”, will also be installed on new crossings as they are provided.

In addition, the tweak will only be made to stand-alone pedestrian crossings, not those associated with junctions where they are just as badly needed and could be equally as beneficial.

Commenting on the scheme, Green Councillor Emma Edwards said: “When people realised what had happened, I got phone calls saying ‘can we have one down here and there, and it would be useful here’. Residents really love them and it’s such a cost-effective way to get traffic calming measures in and to help with things like school routes.”

What has taken you so long, Bristol City Council?

Your ‘umble scribe’s best guess is that the idea was filed away in the “not invented here” cabinet combined with the propensity of highways department staff not being able to see beyond the bonnet of their respective motorised tinned three-piece suites.

Given these shortcomings, your correspondent is only prepared to give the council one extremely grudging cheer.
A tidier BS5

25/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

It’s been a good day for a tidier and hopefully more pleasant and liveable BS5.

For the second week in a row, Bristol City Council had arranged for skips to be dropped at four sites in Lawrence Hill ward for residents to fill with the rubbish that couldn’t be collected by normal waste rounds. The sites are shown on the following map.

Before providing the skips in Easton last week and this week, St Paul’s residents had previously benefited from their presence on the streets.

Yesterday morning your ‘umble scribe received an email from a council contact: could I possibly help out at one of the sites?

I duly did, turning out at 9.00 am for skip delivery. It didn’t actually turn up until nearly 10 am. By 10.45 it was full and your correspondent regretfully had to turn people away or direct them to the other skip sites.

I was very pleased to be relieved by a proper council officer at 11 am.

While babysitting the skip, I also had one Bristol Waste‘s community engagement officers stop for a chat. She had organised a community litter pick on Stapleton Road for later that morning. I saw them on my way for a late breakfast; they were hard at work and doing a good job near the junction with Easton Way.

Anyway, well done to Bristol City Council and Bristol Waste for arranging some extra resources for tidying BS5 and the community litter picking team. Your efforts are appreciated. One repeated remark which was made about the skips was can we please have them again, possibly regularly?
Mermaids, volcanism and… Google Translate!

18/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Oddities, Social Media, Tech

Google Translate, the Mountain View behemoth’s translation service is noted for not being very good on technical terminology, even of the most basic kind. Furthermore, it also struggles with a little thin called context, i.e. the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea and in terms of which it can be fully understood.

When Google Translate gets the context wrong and confuses protecting the public with ancient Greek mythological figures, the result is at the very least amusing and at must alarming and downright dangerous, as revealed by the following social media post by Prof. Jenni Barclay of the University of Bristol.

Prof. Barclay’s research is the reduction of risk and prevention of disaster in volcanic settings, with a particular focus both on volcanic processes and the social processes that amplify volcanic risk.

My question for Prof. Barclay is are mermaids a social process?

Mis-translations definitely are!
March litter pick

02/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

Yesterday saw the regular monthly community litter pick in Bristol’s Barton Hill, which takes place on the first Saturday of each month.

On a sunny but initially cool morning four of us turned up and spent an hour and a quarter clearing up Ducie Road and its council-owned car park, a regular dumping ground for fly-tippers, as well as a convenient repository for spent catering size nitrous oxide canisters.

The team dismantled one fly tip and bagged it up for collection by Bristol Waste along with our ‘swag‘, which will be collected – hopefully speedily – by Bristol Waste.

Alex, Steve and Ronit with the fruits of our litter pick.
Image courtesy of Eric Green

Afterwards we retired to the Wellspring Settlement for light refreshments.

Thanks to my fellow pickers for tidying BS5.

See you next month on the 5th!
Farewell, Onj (1958-2025)

14/02/2025 Steve WoodsBristol

Earlier this week, you ‘umble scribe received a text message after 10pm in the evening – never a good sign.

And so it proved: my old friend André Sparkfield, affectionately known as Onj, had passed away on Monday.

I first met Onj at a mutual friend’s house party some 30 years ago and was instantly attracted by his generosity and warmth.

That was before I really knew of his artistic and creative side, which was truly impressive.

Onj was a stalwart of the party and festivals scenes in the south west, providing decor for the likes of Bearded Fiend, Marcel Mouton, Mutant Dance and Tribe of Frog.

Onj and myself worked together every year for 15 years on Trinity‘s free annual fireworks party. I lit the bonfire, Onj lit the fireworks, usually by hand (a spectacularly dangerous looking activity, says someone standing next to and tending several cubic metres of flaming wood. Ed.) until he got sophisticated in the latter years and used electronic firing so he could appreciate his handiwork.

Onj with a humorously-named display firework

Of those times, Emma has written as follows:

Onj lit up the night sky at countless gatherings and events; not least through his many incredible free fireworks displays over the years at Trinity. These spectacular shows captured the spirit of creativity, joy and community. Displays that stopped traffic, attracted thousands and served as a cornerstone of what makes a city like Bristol sparkle.

I can’t better Emma’s words.

Thank you for being my friend, Onj

Rest in peace, dear.

Update 13/03/2025: the celebration of Onj’s life was attended by over 300 people despite the coldness of the day. A great send-off for a great man.
Councillor-sized bins in BS5

29/10/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

Yesterday your ‘umble scribe was invited to take part in a site visit to Stapleton Road for councillors on the city council’s Environment & Sustainability Committee. Also in attendance were senior council officers, including the head of the Neighbourhood Enforcement Team, representatives of Bristol Waste Company (BWC) and Easton ward councillor Jenny Bartle. Unfortunately, only two of the members of the committee showed up, although one of those was its chair.

We took the best part of an hour to wander up and down a half kilometre section of Stapleton Road, during which some all-too familiar and depressing sights were seen, such as house clearances (right) and piles of trade waste outside closed down shops.

Both your ‘umble scribe and officers present pointed out that the area was afflicted by many interrelated problems, e.g. pavement parking by selfish motorists combined with fly-tipping makes using the footways impossible in places, particularly for those such as parent with prams and buggies, or the disabled.

However, BWC’s community engagement team used the opportunity to plan future visits and actions to help residents present their waste and recycling properly. We were also informed how fly-tips were ranked by priority for removal, as well as the special bag collection arrangements along Stapleton Road.

We also noted changes to the local street furniture, including the installation of councillor-sized bins to cope with the litter!

The new bins have appeared at junctions close to where takeaway food shops are concentrated on this section of Stapleton Road and it appears to be part of wider efforts to replace/upgrade litter bin provision across Bristol’s Easton and Lawrence Hill wards.
When saying sorry is too hard

26/10/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Social Media

The last week has seen the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (Chogm) held in Apia in Samoa. However, the meeting did not necessarily turn out in favour of the British state and its representatives, one Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor, who some believe is its legitimate head of state, and ‘Sir’ Keir Rodney Starmer, head of government and leader of an allegedly Labour administration.

The main point of contention was one of the many crimes against humanity committed by the English/British during their centuries-long invasion, colonisation and exploitation of vast areas of the world’s land surface – chattel slavery.

The Caribbean members of the Commonwealth, under the umbrella of Caricom, have been demanding reparations for slavery for some time. Their reasoning is based on the fact that when slavery was abolished within the British Empire in 1833 (the slave trade as abolished in 1807. Ed.), the owners were compensated for their loss of ‘property‘ in the form of 700,000 enslaved persons This amounted to £20m and accounted for nearly one-quarter of the government’s budget in the year that it was paid. The emancipated slaves and their descendants were never compensated. Indeed to add further a insult to their suffering, the freed slaves were expected to work for free for the people who had already exploited them and were being handsomely rewarded for their inhumanity.

Mr Windsor, whose ancestor Charles Stuart II granted the Royal African Company (RAC) a monopoly on all English trade with Africa, had particular difficulty in apologising for the harm his family and his state have done to Africa and the Caribbean. The RAC’s initial purpose was to trade in gold, but quickly moved on to trading in captured human beings, which became its main activity. The so-called royal family also invested in the slave trade: William of Orange (the King Billy so beloved of certain people in Ireland’s occupied six counties) bought shares in the RAC off one Edward Colston, whose statue in Bristol was toppled a few years ago and taken for a bath in the city docks. Despite his own family having blood on its hands from the slave trade, the best Charlie boy could manage was to call slavery the “most painful aspects of our past continue to resonate. according to the BBC.

As for Starmer, he has ruled out any talk of reparation, but has indicated he is open to non-financial reparations, as The Guardian reports I don’t somehow think the Caribbean governments of Caricom will be persuaded by offers of mirrors, glass beads and other trinkets for supplying two centuries of free labour for Britain and its elite.

Beside slavery being discussed slavery, the transatlantic slave trade and reparatory justice have all made their way into the meeting’s final communiqué (PDF) in its paragraphs 21 and 22.

Finally, here’s a little song about saying sorry especially for Charles and Keir., which your ‘umble scribe hopes they will enjoy.
Know worries

16/10/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics

The verb to know and the associated noun knowledge are both concerned with the possession of information, awareness, familiarity, recognition and the like.

Over the centuries this has resulted in some very specialised uses. One of these is the phrase carnal knowledge, described by Wikipedia as “an archaic or legal euphemism for sexual intercourse“. Thus the verb to know can take on sexual connotations. The most notable example of this usage is in the King James Bible in Luke 1. This is where Mary receives news from the angel Gabriel that she is to be mother of the son of God. When so enlightened, she replies as follows in verse 34, implying she is either unmarried, a virgin, or both:

Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?

Hello, hello, hello!
What are you writing about here then?
Besides the field of human physical relationships, another field in which know has a particular meaning is law enforcement. The phrase in question in this context is “known to police“. Anyone who is known to police is not usually a person who drops into the station regularly for tea, biscuits and a chat. The phrase implies one has been arrested, charged and possibly convicted too, i.e. one has a criminal record.

Or at least it did until this week.

Yesterday’s Bristol Live/Post carried a report of an Avon & Somerset Police Question Time on 14th October featuring Chief Constable Sarah Crew and Clare Moody, the elected Police & Crime Commissioner.

At one stage the discussion turned to human trafficking and modern slavery. The Chief Constable remarked that places of employment where trafficking was suspected included car washes, nail bars, care homes and agriculture.

To this Ms Moody added:

Victims of modern slavery and human trafficking are some of the most vulnerable people in our society.

In order to be able to intervene in this criminality you have to be able to identify it’s happening. Your own threat assessment estimates that only ten per cent of the victims of this crime are known to Avon & Somerset Police.

Is Ms Moody implying that 10 per cent of slavery and trafficking victims have a criminal record or have been previously arrested by Avon & Somerset’s finest? Or is she unaware of the special meaning of known to police?

Your ‘umble scribe suspects the latter.

Is known to police on the route to becoming another archaic or legal euphemism? Add your thoughts in the comments below.
Bristol Live exclusive: M4 diverted via Somerset

01/10/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Media, Oddities

The London to South Wales motorway, otherwise known as the M4, runs from Chiswick in the west of London to Pont Abraham Services near Pontarddulais in Sir Gaerfyrddin (that’s Carmarthenshire for monoglots. Ed.). It passes through or close to the major towns and cities of Slough, Reading, Swindon, Bristol, Casnewydd (Newport), Caerdydd (Cardiff) Pen-y-bont ar Ogwr (Bridgend), Port Talbot and Abertawe (Swansea).

Route of the M4. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Or rather it did: until a traffic report on Sunday in Bristol Live which saw road repairs move it several tens of kilometres south from South Gloucestershire, the unitary authority in which Tormarton is situated to Somerset.

Fact checking is important when reporting the news, except it seems when one works as a Reach plc ‘journalist‘: or the newsroom atlas has inexplicably gone missing; or is non-existent.

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