food

  • Bristol Post Balls – beefing about faggots

    Today the Bristol Post has been occupied with faggots. It all started when Facebook, that bastion of free speech, banned the use of the word faggot as offensive. Apparently they’ve never heard of this traditional item of English cuisine over the pond, where faggot is a term of abuse for homosexuals.

    As a result, Mr Brain’s – a producer of culinary products resembling faggots that started life in the Bristol area – has started a campaign to fight against Facebook’s ban, which is duly being reported by the Post.

    In addition, the Post also informed its readers what faggots are. Any similarity between the Post’s article and the introduction to Wikipedia’s faggots article is presumably purely coincidental.

    However, the Post hasn’t finished with faggots yet; it also tells its by now slavering readers how to make faggots. After having stated that faggots are made from pork, the Post drops a real clanger on this report, illustrating it with a photograph of a butcher (so far, so good. Ed.) posing with a joint of beef (D’oh! Ed.), as evidenced by the screenshot below.

    Bristol Post screenshot

  • Racist van: a load of tripe

    Earlier this year I blogged about the Home Office’s so-called racist van (posts passim). Yesterday along with most of the national media the BBC reported that the Home Office had admitted that just 11 illegal immigrants had left the UK as a result of its ill-advised campaign.

    Although the Home Office’s efforts were ill-advised and less than successful, its use of mobile billboards has inspired their use by others like the Tripe Marketing Board, as the picture below – allegedly from Lancashire – shows.

    Tripe van

  • A message to thieves

    I’ve seen this fruit van a few times on Cumberland Road in recent weeks. At the foot of the offside door is a message to the light-fingered with a penchant for bananas.

    rear of fruit van
    Can other primates and other assorted fruit fans read?

    Only in Bristol… 🙂

  • Sibling Saunter 2013 – walking with Wild Eadric and Offa

    Yesterday I returned from my annual meet-up in Shropshire with my sister Hilary. Dubbed the ‘sibling saunter’, it’s an opportunity we take each year to meet in Shropshire, the county of our birth, and go walking without the encumbrance of children, partners, etc.

    This year we went down into the Clun area in the south-west of Shropshire and the first day’s walk took us into Wales. Following an excellent route map (PDF) prepared by the Clwyd-Powys Archaeological Trust, we visited the prehistoric burial cairns on Corndon Hill (513 m above sea level) before making to the Miner’s Arms in Priestweston for a pint and finishing off at the Mitchell’s Fold stone circle. Legend has it that one of the stones in the circle is a petrified witch, punished by locals for seeing off a magic cow that provided them with unending supplies of milk.

    There’s a very convenient bench next to the trig point on the top of Corndon Hill and it’s perfect for a breather and a refreshment stop.

    Just south of Corndon Hill is a small outcrop of a volcanic rock known as picrite. This was used to make stone axes at around the same time that the burial cairns and stone circle were constructed. CPAT has investigated this prehistoric quarry, also known as Cwm Mawr.

    Mitchell's Fold
    A breather at Mitchell’s Fold

    The porous, unclear nature of the border between England and Wales is well evidenced around this area by places with English names in Wales and Welsh ones in England. The border itself has moved around too. For instance, Montgomery – the site of one of the Marcher castles and now firmly part of Wales – is included in the Shropshire county returns of the Domesday Book.

    Although our Corndon Hill walk was only 6 miles in length, we both agreed on its strenuous nature for fifty-somethings, albeit fairly fit ones.

    As the first evening of our annual saunter set in, we were still undecided as to the next day’s walking route. Eventually we decided on a loop of some 10 miles in length comprising a section of the Shropshire Way to Hergan and its junction with the Offa’s Dyke Path, which here is well preserved and follows the line of the Dyke itself, down to Newcastle on Clun and then back to our base at the youth hostel in Clun.

    Offa’s Dyke is a massive linear earthwork, roughly followed by some of current border between England and Wales. In places, it is up to 19.8 m wide – including its flanking ditch – and 2.4 m high, with the ditch always on the Welsh side. In the 8th century it formed some kind of delineation between the Saxon kingdom of Mercia and the Welsh. Offa himself was King of Mercia from 757 to 796.

    So we set out from the grounds of Clun Castle following the Shropshire Way along the valley of the River Clun. The route is well waymarked and the Shropshire Way’s buzzard logo is well displayed on all signposts. After a couple of miles we climbed over the Cefns to Hengarn and Offa’s Dyke.

    The junction of Offa's Dyke (on the left) and the Shropshire Way (on the right)
    My sister, the great navigator, at the junction of Offa’s Dyke (on the left) and the Shropshire Way (on the right)

    The section of the Shropshire Way over which we’d walked was shared with Wild Eadric’s Way, named after Eadric the Wild, a Saxon thegn (or thane. Ed.) who was lord of Clun and refused to swear fealty to the usurping William the Bastard of Normandy. The factual life of Eadric has since become interspersed with folklore, as shown in this article.

    But back to Offa’s Dyke. The section we were walking is amongst the best preserved that remains. Furthermore, whilst descending to Newcastle on Clun, we passed the halfway point between the path’s 2 end points – Chepstow and Prestatyn. It was most fortunate we were walking on a Wednesday as there’s a community café open in Newcastle’s community centre on Wednesdays between 10.30 am and 4.30 pm; the refreshments were excellent! I recommend the ginger and lemon cake.

    Once back in Clun it was time for a well-earned pint in the Sun Inn before retiring back to the youth hostel. If you’re thinking of staying in the area and have fond memories of ‘old skool’ hostelling, you’ll love Clun YH. It’s a beautifully restored water mill with plenty of the mill machinery on view. Furthermore, it’s one of those hostels where people talk to one another. Before drawing to a close, I’d like to thank Sue the volunteer warden on duty during our stay for her helpfulness and very cheery disposition. We both hope the bedding inventory didn’t do your head in! 🙂

    We’re taking the sibling saunter back to the Clun and Bishops Castle area next year to explore inter alia the Iron Age hill fort of Bury Ditches.

    Update: 24/08/13: About the time this post was published yesterday, the Shropshire Star reported that a section of Offa’s Dyke in Wales has been destroyed by bulldozer. Police and Cadw, the Welsh heritage organisation, are continuing to investigate how the earthwork alongside the A5 north of Chirk, came to be flattened in this blatant act of vandalism. Jim Saunders of the Offa’s Dyke Association is reported to have said: “The ditch could be dug out but the dyke has been destroyed now it will never be the same again.”

  • Sea greens

    Yesterday I left the confines of Bristol and travelled down to the Bristol Channel coast.

    While there I was there I made time to visit an area of salt marsh to forage for marsh samphire (also known as glasswort), which is currently in the midst of its short season, which consists of the months of July and August only.

    image of marsh samphire
    Marsh samphire (Salicornia europaea)

    Samphire can be eaten raw or cooked. In the latter instance, no salt needs to be added to the cooking water as the plant has an inherent high salt content. It has a fresh, salty taste, crisp texture and makes a great accompaniment to fish and shellfish dishes, eggs or such specialities as salt marsh lamb. As samphire gets older and larger, the core of the plant becomes more stringy and the succulent flesh has to be stripped off the stringy core.

    Until the start of the 19th century, marsh samphire also had industrial uses: before the introduction of the LeBlanc process for the industrial production of soda ash, marsh samphire ashes were long used as a source of soda ash (mainly sodium carbonate) for making glass and soap.

    As regards the origin of the noun samphire, it is believed to be a corruption of the French name herbe de Saint-Pierre, i.e. “St Peter’s herb”.

  • Barncamp – my highs and lows

    Late yesterday afternoon I returned from Barncamp 2013, – a weekend of “hacktivism, workshops, entertainment, politics and fun in the sun” held at Highbury Farm up the beautiful Wye Valley a few miles south of Monmouth. Barncamp itself was open to attendees from Friday 7th June to Sunday 9th June. As part of the production crew, I got to spend a couple of additional nights on site, wearing out the view. Barncamp is a joint production between HacktionLab, FLOSS Manuals and Bristol Wireless.

    The view up the Wye to Monmouth from the Barncamp site
    The view up the Wye to Monmouth from the Barncamp site

    My highs and lows of the event are listed below.

    The highs

    • Seeing the International Space Station (posts passim) pass overhead on the first evening.
    • Ben Green’s wild food walk – something I’d been promising myself to do for years. I ate wild garlic flowers for the first time while on Ben’s walk.
    • Not reading the online edition (or any other format) of the dreadful Bristol Post.
    • A fine pub lunch – steak and ale pie -at the Lamb & Flag after my visit to A&E in Abergavenny (see below).
    • Leading the Linux command line workshop on the Bristol Wireless mobile LTSP suite.
    • Seeing lots of people I haven’t seen since the last Barncamp, 2 years ago.
    • “Wow!” Charlie‘s one word tasting note for Laphroaig single malt whisky.
    • Getting a surprised reaction from some for annointing the campfire hearth with Laphroaig before lighting (humour an old hippy as he appeases the genus loci, will you? Thanks. Ed.).
    • Excellent beers all weekend (apart from the solitary pint of Nutcracker over at The Boat in Penallt).

    The lows

    • Getting knackered walking up and down the hill from the camping field to the barn and up and down to the village shop.
    • Not catching sight of the ravens I heard all the week.
    • Hitting myself on the left thumb with a lump hammer, requiring a trip to Neville Hall Hospital in Abergavenny and the insertion of 3 stiches (picture below).
    • Having to come back to Bristol and routine.
    Ouch!
    Ouch!

    And finally…

    A big thank you to the folks at Highbury Farm, our hosts for Barncamp, especially Tez for the comfrey to help with my war wounds. Hope to see you again soon.

  • Haggis – a poetic dish

    portrait of Robert Burns
    The Bard of Ayrshire. Picture courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
    Today, 25th January is the birthday of Robert (or Rabbie) Burns (1759 – 21 July 1796), Scotland’s most celebrated poet. He is widely regarded as the national poet of Scotland and is celebrated worldwide. He is the best known of the poets who have written in the Scots language, although much of his writing is also in English and a light Scots dialect, making his works accessible to an audience beyond Scotland. He also wrote in standard English and this brought out his bluntest political and civil commentaries.

    Burns is also regarded as a pioneer of the Romantic movement and after his death he became a great source of inspiration to the founders of both liberalism and socialism, as well as a cultural hero in Scotland and the Scottish diaspora around the world.

    Rabbie’s birthday is now traditionally celebrated by a Burns Night supper, of which haggis is an essential ingredient, traditionally accompanied by ‘neeps’ (turnips or swede) and ‘tatties’ (potatoes). One gets the impression that Rabbie was rather fond of haggis, since in 1786 he wrote “Address To A Haggis”, which is reproduced below.

    Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
    Great chieftain o’ the pudding-race!
    Aboon them a’ yet tak your place,
    Painch, tripe, or thairm:
    Weel are ye wordy o’a grace
    As lang’s my arm.

    The groaning trencher there ye fill,
    Your hurdies like a distant hill,
    Your pin was help to mend a mill
    In time o’need,
    While thro’ your pores the dews distil
    Like amber bead.

    His knife see rustic Labour dight,
    An’ cut you up wi’ ready sleight,
    Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
    Like ony ditch;
    And then, O what a glorious sight,
    Warm-reekin’, rich!

    Then, horn for horn, they stretch an’ strive:
    Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
    Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
    Are bent like drums;
    Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
    Bethankit! hums.

    Is there that owre his French ragout
    Or olio that wad staw a sow,
    Or fricassee wad make her spew
    Wi’ perfect sconner,
    Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view
    On sic a dinner?

    Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
    As feckles as wither’d rash,
    His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
    His nieve a nit;
    Thro’ blody flood or field to dash,
    O how unfit!

    But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
    The trembling earth resounds his tread.
    Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
    He’ll mak it whissle;
    An’ legs an’ arms, an’ hands will sned,
    Like taps o’ trissle.

    Ye Pow’rs, wha mak mankind your care,
    And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
    Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
    That jaups in luggies;
    But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer
    Gie her a haggis!

    Haggis, neeps and tatties.
    Haggis, neeps and tatties.
    I’m looking forward to some haggis, neeps and tatties this evening at The Volunteer Tavern in St Judes, Bristol, beautifully prepared by Mark the chef, as well as a wee dram or two to wash it all down. I’m also looking forward to the other courses, starting with cock-a-leekie soup or Scotch broth for starters finishing with cranachan for dessert.

    Furthermore, I might also have to find time to bone up on the Address above as I might have to do it.

    If you are celebrating Burns Night too, do enjoy it!

  • A traditional seasonal monologue

    In deference to the time of year, here’s a monologue – Christmas Day in the Workhouse – penned by George R. Sims in 1879.

    It is Christmas Day in the Workhouse,
    And the cold bare walls are bright
    With garlands of green and holly,
    And the place is a pleasant sight:
    For with clear-washed hands and faces
    In a long and hungry line
    The paupers sit at the tables,
    For this is the hour they dine.

    And the guardians and their ladies,
    Although the wind is east,
    Have come in their furs and wrappers,
    To watch their charges feast:
    To smile and be condescending,
    Put puddings on pauper plates,
    To be hosts at the workhouse banquet
    They’ve paid for – with the rates.

    Oh, the paupers are meek and lowly
    With their ‘Thank’ee kindly, mum’s’;
    So long as they fill their stomachs
    What matters it whence it comes?
    But one of the old men mutters,
    And pushes his plate aside:
    ‘Great God!’ he cries; ‘but it chokes me!
    For this is the day she died.’

    The guardians gazed in horror
    The master’s face went white;
    ‘Did a pauper refuse his pudding?’
    ‘Could their ears believe aright?’
    Then the ladies clutched their husbands,
    Thinking the man might die
    Struck by a bolt, or something,
    By the outraged One on high.

    But the pauper sat for a moment,
    Then rose ‘mid a silence grim,
    For the others has ceased to chatter,
    And trembled every limb.
    He looked at the guardian’s ladies,
    Then. eyeing their lords, he said,
    ‘I eat not the food of villains
    Whose hands are foul and red:

    ‘Whose victims cry for vengeance
    From their dank, unhallowed graves.’
    ‘He’s drunk!’ said the workhouse master.
    ‘Or else he’s mad, and raves.’
    ‘Not drunk or mad,’ cried the pauper,
    ‘But only a hunted beast,
    Who, torn by the hounds and mangled,
    Declines the vulture’s feast.

    I care not a curse for the guardians,
    And I won’t be dragged away.
    Just let me have the fit out,
    It’s only Christmas Day
    That the black past comes to goad me,
    And prey my burning brain;
    I’ll tell you the rest in a whisper, –
    I swear I won’t shout again.

    ‘Keep your hands off me, curse you!
    Hear me right out to the end.
    You come here to see how the paupers
    The season of Christmas spend.
    You come here to watch us feeding,
    As they watch the captured beast.
    Hear why a penniless pauper
    Spits on your paltry feast.

    ‘Do you think I will take your bounty,
    And let you smile and think
    You’re doing a noble action
    With the parish’s meat and drink?
    Where is my wife, you traitors –
    The poor old wife you slew?
    Yes, by the God above us
    My Nance was killed by you!

    ‘Last winter my wife lay dying,
    Starved in a filthy den;
    I had never been to the parish, –
    I came to the parish then.
    I swallowed my pride in coming,
    For, ere the ruin came,
    I held up my head as a trader,
    And I bore a spotless name.

    ‘I came to the parish, craving
    Bread for a starving wife,
    Bread for a woman who’d loved me
    Through fifty years of my life;
    And what do you think they told me,
    Mocking my awful grief?
    That “the House” was open to us,
    But they wouldn’t give “out relief”.

    I slunk to the filthy alley –
    ‘Twas a cold, raw Christmas eve –
    And the bakers’ shops were open
    Tempting a man to thieve;
    But I clenched my fists together
    Holding my head awry,
    So I came home empty-handed,
    And mournfully told her why.

    Then I told her “the House” was open;
    She had heard of the ways of that,
    For her bloodless cheeks went crimson,
    And up in her rags she sat,
    Crying, “Bide the Christmas here, John,
    We’ve never had one apart;
    I think I can bear the hunger, –
    The other would break my heart.”

    ‘All through that ever I watched her,
    Holding her hand in mine,
    Praying the Lord, and weeping
    Till my lips were salt as brine.
    I asked her once if she hungered
    And as she answered “No,”
    The moon shone in at the window
    Set in a wreath of snow.

    ‘Then the room was bathed in glory,
    And I saw in my darling’s eyes
    The far-away look of wonder
    That comes when the spirit flies;
    And her lips were parched and parted,
    And her reason came and went,
    For she raved of her home in Devon,
    Where her happiest days were spent.

    ‘And the accents, long forgotten,
    Came back to the tongue once more,
    For she talked like the country lassie
    I woo’d by the Devon shore.
    Then she rose to her feet and trembled,
    And fell on the rags and moaned,
    And, “Give me a crust – I’m famished –
    For the love of God!” she groaned.

    I rushed from the room like a madman,
    And flew to the workhouse gate,
    Crying “Food for a dying woman!”
    And came the answer, “Too late.”
    They drove me away with curses;
    Then I fought with a dog in the street,
    And tore from the mongrel’s clutches
    A crust he was trying to eat.

    ‘Back, through the filthy by-lanes!
    Back, through the trampled slush!
    Up to the crazy garret,
    Wrapped in an awful hush.
    My heart sank down at the threshold,
    And I paused with a sudden thrill,
    For there in the silv’ry moonlight
    My Nancy lay, cold and still.

    ‘Up to the blackened ceiling
    The sunken eyes were cast –
    I knew on those lips all bloodless
    My name had been the last;
    She’d called for her absent husband –
    O God! had I but known! –
    Had called in vain and in anguish
    Had died in that den – alone.

    ‘Yes, there in a land of plenty
    Lay a loving woman dead,
    Cruelly starved and murdered
    For a loaf of parish bread.
    At yonder gate, last Christmas
    I craved for a human life.
    You, who would feast us paupers,
    What of my murdered wife!

    ‘There, get ye gone to your dinners;
    Don’t mind me in the least;
    Think of your happy paupers
    Eating your Christmas feast;
    And when you recount their blessings
    In your smug parochial way,
    Say what you did for me, too,
    Only last Christmas Day.’

    image of St James' Workhouse, London. Picture courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
    St James’ Workhouse, London. Picture courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    Happy Christmas all.

  • It’s durian season

    Durian is perhaps the strangest thing I’ve eaten in nearly six decades on planet Earth. Many refer to it as the “king of fruits” as its taste and texture are wonderful, resembling an aromatic banana custard, but at the same time it has a distinctly off-putting smell somewhat akin to a mixture of rotting flesh and faeces. Indeed, durian is so smelly that it’s not allowed on public transport in Singapore and hotels, hospitals and other public buildings in other countries. In addition, as you can see from the image below, it looks like a weapon or munition designed by a botanist.

    Image of durian fruit
    Durian – image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    My friend Mr Wong has let me know that it’s now the height of the durian season in his native Borneo and according to a Borneo Post report, “There are so many durians coming in daily that Sibu Central Market is being flooded with the king of the fruits”.

    This glut on durians means aficionados in Borneo can indulge their passion for as little as the equivalent of 10p per fruit, as opposed to the prices charged by oriental supermarkets in the UK, which often run to double figures in pounds sterling.

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