Illiterate – Norman Baker MPIt seems hardly a week goes by without the Liberal Democrats having difficulties with their literature (posts passim).
Brighton’s regional newspaper, The Argus, reported yesterday that Lewes MP Norman Baker has been spelling the name of the county wrong on the front page of a booklet sent out to his constituents.
Apparently, Sussex was misspelt as Susex on the front of copies of the Let’s Talk booklet delivered to homes across his constituency.
Illiterate – Catherine Bearder MEPAccording to the report in The Argus, the leaflet states that Norman Baker and Lib Dem MEP Catherine Bearder are…. “Delivering for East Susex“.
There was then an attempted cover-up with stickers being used to mask the error, but – as so often happens – some leaflets escaped this procedure and were delivered.
Let’s Talk is another one of those template Liberal Democrat leaflets where local supporters supply the relevant text and locality name (posts passim).
Here’s a little bit of advice for the Liberal Democrats: you’re probably using a word processor to produce copy for your leaflets. The word processor has a very useful little feature called a spellchecker. 🙂
The image below recently cropped up in my Twitter timeline. Research seems to indicate the original document emanates from the Star Hotel in Guangzhou.
Not being familiar with Chinese, I asked my good friend Ling Wong whether the English was an accurate translation of the Chinese; he has confirmed this. He also added that strange notices are a common feature of Chinese hotels.
Incidentally, if you get a UKIP election leaflet and you don’t wish to pollute your paper recycling with it, you can return it free of charge to them at the following address:
UKIP FREEPOST
RLSU-HZBG-UBBG
Lexdrum House
Heathfield
Devon
TQ12 6UT
I’m currently reading Portrait of the Potteries by Bill Morland, published by Robert Hale Ltd. in 1978.
Being a local delicacy, oatcakes (posts passim) get an honourable mention. Indeed on page 25 Mr Morland does more than praise them, he speculates as to their origin (although he hyphenates oat-cakes. Ed.):
It is nothing like the Scottish oat-cake, but is rather like a brown and nobbly pancake made from draught-porridge. Incredibly economical to product, oat-cakes are very nourishing and sustaining. They are a symbol of the isolation and conservatism of the valley, since they appear to be an iron-age survival.
Oatcake awaiting filling
However, Mr Morland provides no evidence of the Iron Age origins of the Staffordshire oatcake, although one would have thought that, as an archaeology teacher for Keele University’s Adult Education Department at the time of publication, he would have realised the importance of empirical evidence.
If anyone can shed light on the (pre)history of the Staffordshire oatcake, please feel free to comment below.
Today’s online edition of the Bristol Post features a great headline to this story, as per the screenshot below.
There is however one thing wrong with the headline: it isn’t true since male tortoises – being reptiles – don’t have a penis, but a cloaca (which is the Latin word for sewer. Ed.) – an opening that serves as the only opening for the intestinal, reproductive and urinary tracts of certain species.
To be fair the fact that male tortoises have cloacas is indeed mentioned by the Post’s unnamed author in paragraph 2:
The four year-old spur-thighed tortoise is suffering from a prolapse of the cloaca which requires immediate treatment.
“Never let the truth get in the way of a good headline” seems to be a maxim of the British press at both local and national levels.
Finally, this blog wishes Cedric and his owner every success in remedying Cedric’s problem. 🙂
The BBC – and Radio 4 in particular – is often criticised for being the voice of middle England speaking to itself.
However, it seems that Auntie is now making great strides to improve the diversity of its staff, as shown by the Tweet below, which was posted during last night’s broadcast of Any Questions.
Q3: Would a Yes vote in the forthcoming Scottish Referendum be the only way in which England could get it's own parliament? #bbcaq
Yes, Radio 4 is now employing greengrocers (shouldn’t that be greengrocer’s? Ed. 🙂 ), or at least people who know how to use superfluous (or greengrocers’) apostrophes.
Below is a picture of part of an actual election leaflet delivered recently to somewhere in South Bristol by the local Liberal Democrats.
Is it a three horse race too, Lib Dems?
Note that local party hacks have omitted to change this generic national leaflet’s wording from ‘Anywhere Council’ to the name of the relevant local authority.
I for one would like to wish the candidate involved – [Insert Name Here] – every success.
The Wig and Pen public house in Truro, Cornwall had some unexpected publicity earlier this week when a badly temporary temporary sign was snapped by an amused regular before being hurriedly removed by embarrassed staff, according to yesterday’s Western Daily Press.
By the time the sign came down, its fame had spread round the world by social media; and it’s easy to see why.
However, according to the Western Daily Press article, the sign itself was not the only linguistic clanger involved in the episode:
But a remember [sic] of staff named Georgie-Tim later took to Twitter to say: “Well, it got you’re attention!
Cabot Circus is hardly my favourite place in Bristol. It’s an out-of-town shopping centre with associated multi-storey car park plonked at the inner city end of the M32. It consists of 3 floors full of identikit national chain stores, plus CCTV and surly security guards to track and/or keep out those who have no intention of buying overpriced, mass-produced consumer tat they probably don’t want, definitely don’t need and most likely cannot really afford.
Today I noticed another reason for avoiding Cabot Circus – mobile phone surveillance.
Warning! Big Retail is watching you.
Note the exemplary use of newspeak: spying on your mobile is “in use at this site to improve our customer service“.
I’m not convinced by the bland assurance regarding personal data either, as will be explained below.
The Footpath technology in use in Cabot Circus has been developed by a company called Path Intelligence and is in use in a number of shopping centres around the UK, including Gunwharf Quays in Portsmouth, Princesshay in Exeter, the Buchanan Galleries in Glasgow, Bon Accord & St Nicholas in Aberdeen and The Centre, Livingston, all of which like Cabot Circus are operated by Land Securities Ltd. The surveillance system works through units placed in shops which detect the changing signals of mobile phones.
Unless people entering the shopping centre happen to see the warning signs (which are conveniently placed alongside lots of others telling the public what they’re not allowed to do, such as use skateboard, take photographs. Ed.) they’re probably unaware that their phones are being monitored.
According to Path Intelligence, the Footpath technology works as follows:
The vast majority of visitors to any given location now carry a mobile (cell) phone. To be able to make and receive calls, the telephone network must understand the phone’s geographical location. The technology behind this is complicated, but in basic terms, the phone and the network continuously ‘talk’ (ping) to each other (sending a unique signal), sending and updating information every time the location of the phone changes.
Footpath technology from Path Intelligence consists of discreet monitoring units able to read the anonymous signals that all mobile phones send. So we’re able to ‘see’ where the phone is (but not the data on it) and map its geographic movements from location to location accurately to within a few meters [sic]. In isolation the information isn’t very revealing but when aggregated, patterns and trends start to emerge. It’s those patterns and trends that are of interest in business planning.
The data collected is fed back to our data centers [sic] 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to be audited and have sophisticated statistical analysis applied. This results in continuously updated information on the flow of people in any monitored location.
As no source code is available for Footpath, no check can be made on its lack of ability to collect personal data or telephone numbers.
At present the technology is not capable of recording phone numbers or personal information, but this will probably change as the system improves and as highlighted by Big Brother Watch:
However, as technology improves, those facilities will become more accessible, and consumers need to have faith that the law protects their privacy. Uncertainty over when and how technology is being used only undermines trust and confidence in any system using mobile phones.
To avoid being tracked, turn off your mobile when visiting Cabot Circus or any other shopping centre operated by Land Securities.
After one’s had a collision, road traffic incident or ‘accident’, as discussed in the previous post, one virtually inevitable subsequent step is the submission of an insurance claim.
These too have their own vocabulary and are couched in terms intended to deflect blame away from the claimant.
This phenomenon was noted many years ago by comedian Jasper Carrot, as in the video below.
