comment | Steve Woods

One American can’t do irony

26/08/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Social Media

Last week this blog featured a post entitled America does irony (posts passim). However, your ‘umble scribe perhaps ought to have prefaced the title with the qualifying Some of… as rules that are not hard and fast have exceptions to them.

And here we come to a very big exception: namely the disgraced former 45th president of the United States, convicted felon, insurrectionist, adjudicated business fraudster, confirmed sexual predator, perpetual liar and serial golf cheat one Donald John Trump.

Anyone with two working brain cells and a hole in their backside can see the ridiculousness of The Donald’s position, even though the man himself – in the loosest sense of the word – is totally unaware of the fool he is making of himself, against which the so-called Bushisms, i.e. those unconventional statements, phrases, pronunciations, malapropisms, and semantic or linguistic errors made in the public speaking of George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, look positively endearing. But then again, George Dubya is another Republican…
Days out ideas. Time machine required

25/08/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities, Social Media

When parliament rises for the summer recess, the period until it reconvenes in the autumn is traditionally known as the silly season. This time of year was traditionally when the press would scramble around desperately for something newsworthy and printable.

This has changed somewhat in recent decades due to the emergence of the 24 hours news cycle driven by technological change, including the rise of social media.

However, the need to find worthwhile to publish is exacerbated when the silly season also includes a public holiday, a time when the great unwashed needs to be kept amused and entertained, which brings us to a piece in today’s edition of the Bristol Post/Live.

Yes, you did read the headline correctly. It does say 2024. Sadly, in this particular item, Bristol’s Reach plc local news title has not followed standard Reach procedure and included affiliate links to time machine providers in the copy, so those intent on visiting Bristol’s hinterland last year will have to go and look for their own, at least until the proofreader returns from holiday. 🙂
America does irony

22/08/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Social Media

A common misconception about US citizens is that Americans en bloc cannot do irony.

This is known as stereotyping, i.e. people attributing a set idea they have about what someone or something is like, especially an idea that is wrong.

The stereotyping was misproved (yet again!) earlier this week by the post below on the former social media site now known as X (mostly for the rating of its content. Ed.) in relation to the disgraced 45th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon and compulsive liar, one Donald John Trump.

In the dictionary irony is defined as follows:

a situation in which something which was intended to have a particular result has the opposite or a very different result.

Anyone who does come out with the ‘Americans can’t do irony‘ phrase needs to look up what a national or ethnic stereotype is. 😀
Ambushed by donkeys and a lettuce

14/08/2024 Steve WoodsMedia, Politics, Social Media

Today’s Guardian reports that Britain’s shortest-serving former prime minister, one Mary Elizabeth Truss, stormed off the stage at a book promotion event after being upstaged by a lettuce banner which dropped from the flies.

The banner bore the phrase “I crashed the economy” below a picture of a lettuce.

Truss was at Beccles Hall in Suffolk promoting her memoir, Ten Years to Save The West, once described as “the work of a failed politician whose historical legacy will be the unprecedented shortness of her premiership“, when the incident happened.

Campaign group Led By Donkeys had arranged the stunt and publicised it via its account on the Muskrat’s X-rated social media platform.

And here’s the video footage in all its (ahem) glory.

For once, Truss had no difficulty finding how to get off the stage; this has not always been the case.

In response to the stunt, Truss reportedly remarked:

What happened last night was not funny. Far-left activists disrupted the event, which then had to be stopped for security reasons. This is done to intimidate people and suppress free speech.

I won’t stand for it.

According to The Independent, Conservative political commentator Tim Montgomerie advised: “Liz Truss would be well advised to learn to laugh at herself”.
Cat educates thick rich man

10/08/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Social Media

The social media account of Larry the Cat, Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office, is no stranger to this blog (posts passim).

Larry has now taken to his keyboard yet again to educate an ignorant, insulting rich man who owns a social media platform to educate the latter on the letter of the law in connection with the recent fascist riots in the Untied Kingdom*.

In recent days Elon Musk, (yes, him! Ed.) has waded into the debate about rioting thugs, claiming the disturbances to be a matter of free speech, not violence and racism against vulnerable people who have sought asylum in the country.

Amongst the many replies to Musk came one from the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office, a canny political operator who has so far survived the premierships of six prime ministers – David ‘Call Me Dave’ Cameron, Theresa May, disgraced former alleged party-time PM Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, one Mary Elizabeth Truss and Rishi Sunak.

Although he started out life as a stray, Larry quickly became acclimatised to the political climate in Whitehall, famously being one of those resignations which led to the downfall of Johnson, a man unfit to clean a public lavatory, let alone occupy the highest elected public office in the land (posts passim).

Larry has posted the following response to Musk’s bland and blissfully ignorant exhortation.

Ouch!

* = Mis-spelling is deliberate.
Bristol says no to hate

08/08/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

It was a tense day in Bristol yesterday. There were reports that fascist thugs were planning to ‘demonstrate’ against a legal practice specialising in immigration cases in the Old Market area. Lots of local businesses saw no alternative but to shut up shop early and board up their windows.

Fortunately, things turned out differently: 2,000 lovely Bristolians packed West and Old Market Streets; the fascists stayed away and a party atmosphere prevailed.

Even away from the focus of the demonstration there was some tension in the air, particularly where your ‘umble scribe lives in Easton, one of Bristol’s most diverse (in all senses) areas. Local shops in St Mark’s Road and the local community centre shut up early in anticipation of possible trouble, particularly as it was suspected the fascists were planning to march along Stapleton Road.

As it happened, no march occurred either. Even if it had, there were lots of small knots of local residents keeping an eye out for trouble on the streets, especially in the vicinity of the mosque in St Mark’s Road.

Also outside the mosque, your correspondent spotted two elderly white people sitting quietly on chairs, one holding a placard reading Bristol says no to hate. By the manner of their protest, your correspondent reckons they might have been Quakers.

When they left, they abandoned their placard on the women’s entrance to the mosque.

Bristol, you should be proud of your citizens today,
The continuing menace of driverless vehicles

01/08/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

All over the country, every day driverless vehicles are colliding with other vehicles and/or structures according to the local press.

Here’s a typical example from today’s Bristol Live/Post to accompany the screenshot below.

Nowhere in the entire report is there any mention of a driver, i.e. someone who might have been able to avoid the vehicle in question deciding to crash into the railway bridge of its own volition.

Furthermore, the byline shows that someone is unfamiliar with basic English language. It reads:

Services are at a stand.

The byline is in fact quoted from Inrix, a US-based traffic data company which now operates in the Untied Kingdom, but seems to be unfamiliar with the word standstill. If any illiterate Inrix employees happen to be passing, it is defined as a condition in which all movement or activity has stopped.
The phrase at a stand does exist, but its meaning – in a state of confusion or uncertainty; undecided what to do next – is subtly different from standstill.
Auntie aids fascist rioters

31/07/2024 Steve WoodsMedia, Politics, Social Media

On Monday an horrific attack took place in Southport at a children’s dance class in which three young girls were deprived of life.

The victims had been attending a Taylor Swift-themed dance and yoga class for children aged up to 11. Taylor Swift herself responded as follows to the news.

A seventeen year-old youth was arrested on suspicion of murder and attempted murder, although his motives remain unclear.

The BBC went to the trouble of reporting the suspect’s ethnicity.

The BBC can report that the teenage suspect, whose parents are from Rwanda, was born in Cardiff and moved to the Southport area in 2013.

It is at this point that questions arise as to why did the BBC point out that although the suspect is a British citizen, he is of African heritage, a fact that was sure to inflame the extreme right.

A vigil was planned near the scene of the attack on Tuesday evening. At about 19.45 hrs, it was followed by violent disorder in which those involved set alight cars, threw bricks at a local mosque, damaged a local convenience store and set wheelie bins on fire. The rioters are believed to have been members of the English Defence League (EDL).

After the riot, questions were asked including the one below by tax campaigner and top-flight accountant Richard Murphy.

Meanwhile in Scotland, The National reports that SNP leader Hamza Yousef has written to the Home Secretary demanding that the EDL be proscribed as a terrorist organisation, as well as posting the following on X/Twitter this morning.

Violence targeting police officers, the public, and mosques, all to drive forward the far-right’s hateful ideology.

Rhetoric is not enough.

We need to take action against the far-right. I have asked the Home Secretary to use her powers to proscribe the English Defence League.
Newspaper gives fascist geography lesson

22/07/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics, Social Media
An interesting mini-drama has played out on social media this morning in the wake of incumbent US president Joe Biden’s decision to step down from the impending campaign in that country’s presidential election.

The dramatis personae are as follows:
- Johannes Huber, a member of the far-right AfD party who serves as a member of the Federal Parliament (MdB); and
- The Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung (FAZ), one of Germany’s major newspapers.
In common with the characteristics of the species homo politicus, i.e. approaching each and every subject with an open mouth, Huber took one look at the news of Joe Biden’s decision to step down from the forthcoming US presidential election (called a general election in the USA. Ed.), got straight on to X/Twitter to post the words ‘Biden is not my President!’.

Note the exclamation mark. 😀

This enabled the FAZ to reply sarcastically to the MdB in question ‘Dear Johannes Huber MP, correct, your president is Federal President Frank-Walter Steinmeier. Best wishes‘, giving him both a timely geography lesson reminding him not so subtly that he is in fact a German citizen.

Meanwhile in the actual presidential campaign itself, Biden has formally endorsed his vice-president Kamala Harris to be the Democrats’ candidate; and Harris looks like she’s relishing the prospect of putting victim-playing egomaniac and disgraced former president Donald John Trump in his place.

Ouch!

The next few months promise to be interesting times indeed.
Auntie prefers football to politics

17/07/2024 Steve WoodsMedia, Oddities, Politics, Social Media

Yesterday’s The Jouker column in The National highlights a prime example of a colonial attitude in the media of the Untied Kingdom.

There were two two significant resignations on Tuesday, but as The Jouker points out, football – and English football at that – was prioritised on the BBC News website ahead of a major political development in Caerdydd, capital of England’s oldest colony.

That resignation was of the disgraced First Minister of Cymru, Vaughan Gething, who amongst other things, had refused to step down after, inter alia, losing a vote of confidence and accepting a £200,000 “donation” from a “businessman” convicted of environmental crimes. Gething’s hand was forced by a mass outbreak of ministerial resignations similar to that which ended the premiership of disgraced former alleged party-time prime minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

Although he’d only been First Minister since March, when the BBC did finally send its political editor down the M4/Great Western railway line to Caerdydd, Chris Mason did helpfully point pout that Gething’s term of office was 2.4 times longer than that of another British premier, one Mary Elizabeth Truss, the ultimate free marketeer whose polices were roundly rejected by the, er, market.

The resignation story which took precedence yesterday was that of England football manager Gareth Southgate who managed to get his team to two consecutive European Football Championship finals, yet still disappointed the jingoistic English media by failing (yet again) to win a chunk of international silverware like his predecessor in 1966, Alf Ramsey.

Why should football take priority over politics? Critics on social media were not slow to notice the choice of priorities made in London, i.e. that only England matters and Wales is a lesser concern, as has been the case ever since Henry VIII’s 16th century Acts of Union.

There is however precedence for this attitude and it comes from another footballer; and one that is one of Scotland’s greatest football exports, Bill Shankly, who was manager of Liverpool FC from 1959 to 1974, a length of tenure of office which modern football managers can only dream of.

Shankly is famously on record as rating the importance of football as follows:

Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.

The above quote from Shankly can be found here with plenty of others from the sage of Anfield.

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