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  • Cotswold colonialism

    The Cotswolds constituency, which includes the towns of Cirencester, Andoversford, Bourton-on-the-Water, Chipping Campden, Fairford, Lechlade, Moreton-in-Marsh, Northleach, Stow-on-the-Wold and Tetbury, are another modern rotten borough (or one-party state. Ed.), having returned a Conservative member to parliament for over 120 years.

    The members it returns also tend to hold reactionary views.

    The previous incumbent, Nicolas Ridley, who stepped down in 1990, is on record as having described the European Union’s the proposed Economic and Monetary Union as “a German racket designed to take over the whole of Europe” and said that giving up sovereignty to the European Union was as bad as giving it up to Adolf Hitler.

    official portrait of Geoffrey Clueless-BrownSo what of the present incumbent, one “Sir” Geoffrey Robert Clifton-Brown, old Etonian, alumnus of the Royal Agricultural College and chairman of the reactionary backbench 1922 Committee?

    Geoffrey hasn’t exactly endeared himself to the residents of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland in the past couple of days, according to Wales Online.

    Reporting on an interview on pandemic restrictions given to Murdoch-owned Times Radio, Clinton-Brown is on record as stating that the other nations in the English Empire (which some still call the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Ed.) having different rules to England was damaging people’s liberties and the economy.

    When asked “How concerned are you about England being out of step with the rest of the country?“, Clinton-Brown replied as follows:

    I think it’s the other way around. I think the principalities are out of step with with with England. I think they have been overly cautious. I think they’re doing more damage to their economies than they need to. I think they’re doing more damage to people’s liberties than they need to. I just don’t think the evidence unless as I say the data coming out today is very different. I don’t think the evidence is there for any further measures.

    Principalities, Geoffrey?

    Right.

    Let’s take this apart slowly. The English Empire is made up of four allegedly equal parts. First there’s the Principality of Wales, which mostly annexed by England in the 13th century. It where lots of the later colonial tactics used in the British Empire to oppress the native were first implemented and/or tried out, (such as e.g. the suppression of the local language in the country’s administration). Then there’s the Kingdom of Scotland, a sovereign state in its own right that entered the Treaty of Union with England in 1706. And finally, there’s Northern Ireland. Ireland’s history with the English/British state is bitter and complicated, but the final six counties still occupied by the British state are commonly referred to as a province.

    So that makes one principality, one kingdom and one province. That’s right; just one principality.

    Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland all now have devolved local assemblies. One of the remits of each of the devolved administrations is health. Westminster has no say in what the Senedd Cymru, Scottish Parliament and Northern Ireland Legislative Assembly; and Westminster has decided that England does not need the stricter pandemic restrictions introduced by the devolved assemblies.

    And that’s what Geoffrey dislikes. His whole attitude in that interview comes across as condescending. He might be concerned about personal liberties and the economy, but his real gripe is the loss of centralised control Whitehall and Westminster used to have over England’s remaining colonies, which is how the devolved regions were treated before devolution.

    Congratulations, Geoffrey! No doubt you call yourself a Unionist, i.e. a supporter of the continued unity of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland as one sovereign state.

    Words are important; and your insensitive remarks and ill-chosen vocabulary have more than likely contributed to the dissolution of that union in the face of growing calls for Scottish and Welsh independence, as well as boosting the chances of Irish reunification.

  • Christmas cancelled?

    It’s that time of year again, when the rumour circulates that Christmas has been cancelled to avoid upsetting members of other faiths.

    This is of course pure nonsense whipped up by fearful and over-sensitive right-wing commentators in the media and has been debunked every time it’s been mentioned.

    Who’s to say that adherents of other religions don’t enjoy the Christmas celebrations as much as followers of Christ? Jesus was after all born Jewish and under the name of Isa, is regarded as one of the twenty-five prophets of Islam

    As proof that this year’s Christmas has not been cancelled by the anonymous PC Brigade, here’s a shot taken of the window of my nearest butcher in Roman Road, Easton. Please supply your own stuffing and cranberry sauce. 😀

    Poster reads place your fresh halal turkey order now

    Cancelling Christmas has a long history in this country, stretching back to the mid-17th century when, following the English Civil War, the the Commonwealth of England was governed by a parliament dominated by Puritans, who objected to certain practices they viewed as unbiblical, including the long-established feast of Christmas. In 1647, the English Parliament banned the celebration of Christmas, replacing it with a day of fasting and considering it “a popish festival with no biblical justification“, as well as a time of wasteful and immoral behaviour. Protests followed: pro-Christmas rioting broke out in several cities and for weeks Canterbury was controlled by rioters, who decorated doorways with holly and indulged in other practices bound to annoy the killjoys who have been with us ever since.

    All of which brings us to the infamous Winterval. Frequently cited as the ultimate Cancel Christmas event, Winterval was nothing of the sort, but a mere two events held in successive winters in November and December 1997 and 1998 to encourage people to return to the newly rejuvenated city centre. These featured secular and religious events marking religious and other occasions, including Christmas, during those two months. Winterval has since become popular shorthand for misrepresented events to “rebrand” Christmas so as not to exclude non-Christians.

  • Another day, another dreadful Reach headline

    Another day, another dreadful headline from a Reach plc (formerly Trinity Mirror. Ed.) title.

    Today’s comes courtesy of Wales Online and features 2 regular features: firstly the desire the pack the entire story into the headline (instead of that anachronistic practice of giving the odd hint about it. Ed.); and secondly ambiguity.

    Headline reads The town at panic stations every time there's a flood warning which is being left at the mercy of climate change

    In my first job after graduating, part of the introduction to the company’s house style involved avoiding ambiguity at all costs.

    This is evidently no longer the case in large swathes of the local press, especially where the titles are owned by the two big players: the aforementioned Reach plc and Newsquest Media Group Ltd.

  • Ambiguity back in the headlines

    Another day, another example of unwitting ambiguity from a representative of the fourth estate.

    Step forward and take a bow, Glasgow Times.

    Headline reads Glasgow thug threw bottle of alcohol containing accelerant at cars causing fire on road

    Your ‘umble scribe has already asked the publication via social media why cars were setting fire to the road, but is not hopeful of receiving a cogent reply; or any reply at all for that matter.

  • By-election special

    Owen PatersonFollowing the resignation as a backbench MP of the disgraced former Secretary of State for Northern Ireland Owen Paterson, a by-election has been called for the North Shropshire constituency (where your ‘umble scribe was born and raised. Ed.), the Tory virtual one party state which has returned a Tory member in every poll bar one* since implementation of the so-called Great” Reform Act of 1832.

    Paterson decided to resign and leave what he called the “cruel world of politics” (if you want to see how cruel the world of politics is, Paterson’s voting record is online. Ed.) after public outcry following a botched attempt by part-time alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson to save his pal from 30 days’ suspension from the Commons for what the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards termed an “egregious case of paid advocacy“.

    The full list of fourteen candidates for the by-election has now been released, including for the Tories one Neil Shastri-Hurst, a barrister parachuted in from Birmingham into what should for them be a safe seat.

    Given its history, the contest should be a shoe-in for the Blue Team, given that the disgraced former member had a majority just short of 23,000 and that the large number of candidates standing will inevitably split the anti-Conservative vote.

    Campaigning has already begun, with prominent and less prominent occupiers of those green leather benches in Westminster turning out to support their chosen candidate, in this case that Brummie barrister.

    At which point step forward the honourable Mr Edmund Frances Hughes, who owes his position to the gullibility of voters in the constituency of Walsall North.

    Except for the fact that Eddie did not so much step forward as trip over his own two feet and end up flat on his face on social media with one tweet.

    Yesterday afternoon in a tweet featuring not only the Brummie barrister, but also Oliver Dowden MP, the former Secretary of State for Culture Wars, Eddie wrote:

    Very positive day campaigning in Wem for the North Staffs. by-election.
    Dr. Neil Shastri-Hurst would be an excellent MP, and already has a proven track record of public service.

    Yes, you did read that tweet correctly. Eddie has moved Wem from the rural acres of north Shropshire to somewhere in the vicinity of the Potteries conurbation, which might have some effect on voters as regards the competence of the Blue Team.

    However, it is not just the Conservatives’ drafted-in support that seems to be having problems knowing exactly where above the centre it is. That affliction also extended to their candidate himself, Mr Neil Shastri-Hurst, if a tweet by Harry Taylor is to be believed. Harry writes:

    Just read that a voter in Wem was shocked that the Tory candidate thought he was actually in Oswestry (20 miles away!). This coming after Eddie Hughes MP thought he was in North Staffs – a constituency abolished in 1885 – is sending quite a message to voters.
    High Street of the ‘North Staffordshire’ town of Wem. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    After all, if members of the governing party don’t even know what county or town they are in, how can they possibly be expected to cope with far more difficult stuff, like the complicated legal text of draft legislation?

    *=In the first election held in the new constituency in 1832, North Shropshire was a two-member seat, returning one Tory and one Whig MP. After becoming a single member seat, the only time a non-Tory was elected was in 1904, when it was a Liberal Party seat for a mere two years.

  • ‘Concrete’ Mike pwned

    Your ‘umble scribe is not a listener to Rupert Murdoch’s TalkRadio channel, being as it is top-heavy with right-wing presenters and commentators.

    Furthermore, its audience compared to other national broadcasters is tiny, with Rajar figures revealing an average national number of listeners of 433,000, i.e. less than the current estimated population of Bristol.

    One of those right-wing presenters had a bad day at the studio yesterday.

    Step forward one Archibald Michael Graham, otherwise know as ‘Iron’ Mike, former editor of the Scottish edition of the Daily Mirror and former assistant editor of the Daily Brexit (which some still call the Express. Ed.).

    Yesterday he’d invited Insulate Britain spokesperson Cameron Ford, onto the TalkRadio breakfast show, where he is currently deputising for the dreadful Julia Hartley-Brewer, ostensibly to discuss Insulate Britain’s latest protest action, but more likely so that Ford could give him a good verbal kicking for the entertainment of the station’s none too large audience.

    However, matters did not progress entirely to plan, leaving Iron Mike’s carapace pitted with rust as he ended up displaying his own stupidity, which has now gone viral around the English-speaking world.

    Graham’s stupidity was so egregious that the hashtag #ConcreteMike is trending on Twitter today.

    The interview, which lasted less than one minute in total, starts with no style at all. Graham launches straight into an ad hominem attack on his guest – a carpenter by trade – claiming that wood is not a sustainable product, before trying to assert that concrete is a sustainable product, before being politely corrected. There then follow a period of silence before Graham ends the interview thinking he’s embarrassed his guest, whilst not having the nous to realise he has opened his mouth and inserted his foot up to the ankle, as per the video clip below.

  • Enforcement Bristol City Council style

    Bristol has one of the highest council tax charges in the country.

    Furthermore, it also provides tenth-rate services for that money.

    Just how ineffective can be examined by looking at one particular so-called ‘service‘: enforcement against fly-tippers and the like.

    In the penultimate of a regular series of meetings about cleanliness in Easton and Lawrence Hill wards, BCC’s head of enforcement just happened to mention he’d noticed an ‘issue‘ with fly-tipping in the Chaplin Road area.

    Other local residents and your ‘umble scribe have only been reporting a problem in this area for some 10 and a half years, so there’s a clue as to how long it takes our apology for a local authority to notice something is wrong that doesn’t involve chasing non-payment of council tax or the issuing of bus passes (the only 2 council activities that seem to occur on an anything resembling an acceptable timescale. Ed.)

    <I seem to recall the head of enforcement suggesting some remedial action needed taking.

    That remedial action has now been implemented and is illustrated in the following photograph.

    BCC A5 no fly-tipping sign

    That’s right! The remedial measures seem to have consisted of sending a bloke out with an A5 corrugated plastic sign and cable ties and attaching it to a local resident’s railings at the junction of Chaplin Road and Normanby Road. Out of politeness, your correspondent shall refrain from asking whether the council gained the consent of the occupier/owner before affixing its notice.

    This is the enforcement equivalent of a chocolate teapot, as can be seen by today’s photo of the same site.

    Cardboard and other items in front of no fly-tipping sign

    Clean streets campaigners are becoming increasingly fed up with inaction from the city council, particularly as it recently recruited several additional enforcement officers (posts passim).

    With those additional enforcement officers and the lashings of cash provided by the public, I and other campaigners want more from the council.

    So, come on BCC! Surely you can afford to have those nice, new enforcement officers deployed to stake out ‘grot spots‘ around the city outside office hours to catch offenders red-handed?
  • Anonymity and hypocrisy

    Priti Patel, inexplicably promoted beyond her competence (i.e. unfit to clean a public office, let alone fill one. Ed.) by part-time alleged prime minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson to Home Secretary, announced her latest authoritarian measure last Sunday; this time mis-targeted at reducing online harassment and abuse on social media.

    Reporting on her appearance on Sky’s Trevor Phillips on Sunday, The Independent writes:

    Ms Patel indicated she is considering going a step further by requiring sites such as Facebook or Twitter to retain details of the identities of people posting material which could be handed over to police investigating crimes.

    Needless to say Patel’s announcement of the proposed slap of firm government has gone down well with the more right-leaning members of the British establishment, one of whom took to the very same social media to become a cheerleader for repression.

    Tweet from Lance Forman stating Excellent. Anonymity should be removed from social media
    Lance who?

    At this point someone steps forward with no style at all and inserts his foot firmly between his teeth, namely Mr Lance Philip Forman, educated at Haberdashers’ Aske’s Boys’ School and Trinity College, Cambridge. However, this scion of the British establish is better known as a former Brexit Party MEP, as well as the owner of London-based salmon smokers H. Forman and Son.

    Forman is not backwards in coming forward to support Priti Patel’s proposal to ban social media anonymity, tweeting:

    Excellent. Anonymity should be removed from social media.
    However,and it’s a substantial however too, Mr Forman’s support for the alleged home secretary’s anonymity proposal comes with a large helping, not of smoked salmon but cordon bleu grade hypocrisy.

    Use quick internet search on Mr Forman quickly turns up his Wikipedia page, which just happens to mention the following information which does not lend support to his stance:

    Lance Philip Anisfeld (born 13 October 1962), known professionally as Lance Philip Forman, is a British politician and businessman,…

    Known professionally as… Isn’t that the same as concealing one’s true identity which is not too far removed from hiding behind anonymity? 😉

  • Meet Tokyo’s litter samurai

    In Tokyo there’s a special team of you men and women who help keep the streets clean with some elegant and graceful moves they perform whilst dressed in traditional Japanese robes and Western trilby hats.

    Known as Gomihiroi Samurai (“litter-picking Samurai”), these environmentally conscious individuals have a unique approach to clean streets, as can be seen below.

    The group have gained popularity on social media site TikTok, where they have gained over 300,000 followers, as well as on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.

    They’re all street performers and one of them, Naka Keisuke, told France 24 that the group thought they’d like to welcome visitors from around the world to a clean city when it was announced that Tokyo had been chosen for the last Olympic Games.

    Given Bristol’s love for street performers, they’d go down a storm in the litter capital of the West Country… if they weren’t worn out by the sheer amount of filth.

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