English usage

  • Jetty mutates into slipway during Channel crossing

    Walruses are rare visitors to British waters and even rarer ones to waters further south. Hence there has been unprecedented press interest in the travels of one in the western Atlantic, since nicknamed Wally.

    Wally was first spotted in Ireland on 15th March, before making his way to Tenby in west Wales.

    His further travels then saw him making an appearance in Cornwall, before turning up in the last week in the western French seaside town of Les Sables d’Olonne, as reported by France Bleu.

    Wally the walrus at foot of jetty in Les Sables d'Olonne
    Wally the walrus at the foot of the jetty at Les Sables d’Olonne. Not the bollards for mooring vessels. Photo courtesy of Commune des Sables d’Olonne

    Walruses are not regular visitors to the waters of western France, preferring the colder waters of more northerly latitudes.

    Indeed, France Bleu quotes Olivier Van Caennait, from the Pelagis Observatory at the University of La Rochelle, who stated:

    Às far as I’m aware, this is only the third sighted in France! The first was in 1986 in Les Landes and the second in 1996 at Oléron“.

    As with everywhere else Wally has visited, the French authorities have advised that people rein in their curiosity and stay at least 50 metres away from the walrus at all times.

    With his having spent time in west Wales, Wally’s arrival on France’s western seaboard naturally attracted the attention of WalesOnline, who managed to introduce a sly dig at those beastly French for injuring one of God’s creatures (something the Brits would never do! Ed.).

    Besides the chauvinism, the WalesOnline reporter managed to achieve a miraculous mutation in maritime infrastructure when shipping the story from western France to south Wales.

    France Bleu reported that the walrus had taken a few hours’ break on “rochers au pied de la jetée de l’entrée du port“, i.e. on rocks at the foot of the port’s entry jetty.

    By the time the story was posted online by WalesOnline, the port’s entry jetty had inexplicably mutated in one photo caption into a slipway. The newsroom staff clearly don’t know the difference between a jetty and a slipway, so here’s a handy photo reference for future use.

    Swanage lifeboat on slipway
    Slipway in Swanage
    Jetty at Cox's Bazaar, Bangladesh
    Jetty in Cox’s Bazaar, Bangladesh

    I have, however, given up on trying to work out what is meant by “riprap of a dike” in the WalesOnline report, but have a suspicion it might refer to a revetment. If you can abolish my ignorance, please do so in the comments below.

    Update 1 6/06/21: Whilst sojourning off the western French coast, Wally also visited La Rochelle, where he came to the attention of the local forces of law and order, with whom he proved “peu coopératif“.

    French gendarmerie tweet with photo showing walrus asleep in boat.

    Update 2 6/06/21: Wales Online now reports that Wally has been sighted off Spain’s Basque coast.

  • Tree catches train?

    One of the joys of reading the Bristol Post/BristolLive website is their hidden exclusives – the ones that are really newsworthy, but are buried in other pieces, such as in this example from Wednesday.

    Headline reads Woman died after being hit by branch leaning out of train window, inquest hears

    The flippant side of me wants to ask the journalist about the circumstantial details implied by the headline. What was a tree doing on the train in the first place? What kind of ticket was it sold? Where was it travelling from and to? Did it pay full price for the ticket or was it a railcard holder? Did it buy anything from the buffet during its journey? And ultimately why did it feel the need to stick a branch out of the window when the train was travelling at 75 mph, particularly as it resulted in a person’s death?

    The tragic story of a life cut short by a moment’s carelessness has been turned upside down by sloppy headline writing, which implies that part of the tree was poking out of a train window was the cause of death, rather than the deceased being careless, leaning out of a train window being struck by lineside vegetation.

    However, despite my flippancy above, I do realise and appreciate that it must be very distressing to the victim’s friends and family to have the read the circumstances of the incident so misrepresented by someone allegedly supposed to be working for an organ whic is supposed a trusted source of local news.

    As the victim came from Penarth, WalesOnline, the Reach plc’s South Wales equivalent of BristolLive, has also carried the story, but with a clear and unambiguous headline.

    Please take note, servants of the Bristol’s Temple Way Ministry of Truth.

  • Bristol on the buses

    Buses are Bristol’s major mode of public transport and as your ‘umble scribe is now in possession of a geriatric’s bus pass, he might actually get around to exploring their possibilities.

    One linguistic peculiarity of using the city’s buses which must be perplexing to outsiders and visitors is the use of the term drive to denote the person in charge of the vehicle. This normally takes the form of the grateful form of address “Cheers Drive” as passengers get off at their intended stops.

    This phrase was last year used to name a new street in the BS5 postcode area, as reported at the time by BBC News.

    Bus destination board sign reads: Sorry me babbers. I'm not in serviceIt now seems that the buses themselves have also taken to addressing potential passengers in dialect, as per this photo courtesy of the WeLoveKeynsham Twitter account.

    Of course, it’s not always been a smooth ride on the city’s buses.

    Back in 1963, there was a boycott of the city’s buses led by youth worker Paul Stephenson and others over the Bristol Omnibus Company’s shameful and discriminatory refusal to employ black or Asian people.

    Furthermore, the reliability of quality of services has been a perennial problem and formed the subject of Fred Wedlock’s song, Bristol Buses.

    Cheers drive!

  • Another confusing headline

    Today the WalesOnline website features a textbook example of an ambiguous headline, i.e one that has or expresses more than one possible meaning.

    Ambiguity in a headline – or anywhere else in a piece of factual reporting – is not an example of good writing style.

    A headline should be clear, convey sufficient information to interest or pique the curiosity the (potential) reader and not be capable of being misinterpreted.

    Headline reads The amazing 200-year-old shell grotto hidden in a corner of Wales you can only visit with a secret key

    WalesOnline is part of the Reach plc* stable of regional press titles.

    Reach titles have past form with ambiguous headlines (posts passim).

    One would almost think it’s written into the group’s style guide (if it has one. Ed.).

    * The Reach stable also includes the national titles, the Daily Mirror and Daily Brexit (which some still call the Express. Ed.)

  • American Express? That won’t do nicely!

    Yesterday the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) reported that it had fined American Express Services Europe Ltd. (Amex) £90,000 for sending four million unlawful, unsolicited marketing emails.

    Tin of SpamIT news site The Register has done some number crunching and worked out that the fine imposed by the ICO is equivalent to 0.021p per offending email or 0.009 per cent of Amex’s annual profits.

    The regulator instigated investigations after receiving complaints from American Express customers who had specifically opted out of receiving marketing information. During its investigation the ICO found that American Express had sent over 50 million so-called “servicing emails” to customers (which anyone sensible would call spam. Ed.). The ICO revealed that between 1st June 2018 and 21st May 2019, over 4 million of those emails were marketing emails, designed to encourage customers to make purchases on their cards, thus benefiting the company financially.

    Andy Curry, the ICO’s Head of Investigations said:

    This is a clear example of a company getting it wrong and now facing the reputational consequences of that error.
    The emails in question all clearly contained marketing material, as they sought to persuade and encourage customers to use their card to make purchases. Amex’s arguments, which included, that customers would be disadvantaged if they weren’t aware of campaigns, and that the emails were a requirement of its Credit Agreements with customers, were groundless.
    Our investigation was initiated from just a handful of complaints from customers, tired of being interrupted with emails they did not want to receive. I would encourage all companies to revisit their procedures and familiarise themselves with the differences between a service email and a marketing email, and ensure their email communications with customers are compliant with the law.
  • The vision thing

    The vision thing” is a comment made by George H. W. Bush ahead of the 1988 United States presidential election when urged to spend some time thinking about his plans for his prospective presidency.

    The embracing of vision – with or without the thing – is widespread in public life in Britain at both local and national levels. Every party leader is expected to have one; and any plans for the wholesale remodelling of large areas of our town and cities are expected incorporate vision too.

    An investigation into the prevalence of vision in the organs of the British state reveals just how ingrained use of the term is. A quick Google search for items containing “vision” on websites within the .gov.uk domain is revealing.

    Screenshot of Google search revealing 2.3m uses of vision on central and local government websites

    No, your eyes do not deceive you – 2.3 million instances of use.

    Looking more locally, a recent search (mid-April) of the Bristol City Council website for the term returns a total of over 4,200 hits. It has probably risen since last month (and with all that evident ocular deployment, one would have thought that the inhabitants of the Counts Louse – which some refer to as City Hall – would realise there’s a major cleanliness problem with the city’s streets. Ed.).

    Screenshot of Google search of Bristol City Council website for use of vision

    With all that vision in use in the country, opticians and their colleagues must be raking in the money. 😀

    Helmut Schmidt
    Sie hatten Recht, Herr Bundeskanzler!

    Or is it necessarily opticians and associated practitioners that should be profiting from this phenomenon? There is some scepticism about the benefits of visions.

    George H.W. Bush was mentioned at the start of this post. One of his contemporaries was the former West German Chancellor Helmut Schmidt.

    Schmidt was very dismissive of visions and is on record as stating the following:

    Wer Visionen hat, soll zum Arzt gehen.

    This translates into English as:

    Anyone who has visions should go to the doctor.

    Will anyone working for the British state be visiting their GP soon, either individually or en masse?

    I doubt it.

    Finally, when someone summoned up the courage to ask Schmidt what his big vision was, he is reputed to have referred them to Bush! 😀

  • Twitter: a correction

    The media and social media today are awash with the result of yesterday’s Hartlepool by-election which was surprisingly won from Labour by the Tories*.

    However, some of the language being used to describe the victory is prone to error, such as the example below from Twitter’s trending topics.

    Screenshot from Twitter trends showing the Conservative MP described as an MP instead of a candidate

    As the winning Tory was not the sitting MP, the correct way to describe her is as a candidate, not an MP. She only becomes an MP upon winning a parliamentary (by-)election.

    In times past such a basic error would have been picked by a sub-editor or similar, but they were all dispensed with some years ago. 🙁

    *= Hartlepool hasn’t had a Tory Member of Parliament since it was represented in Westminster by Peter Mandelson. 😉

  • May blossom

    We’re now in May and one reliable natural occurrence of the time of year is the flowering of common hawthorn (Crataegus monogyna), which is also known as the oneseed hawthorn, or single-seeded hawthorn.

    Other common names include may, mayblossom, maythorn, quickthorn, whitethorn, motherdie, and haw.

    The Woodland Trust have produced a short video depicting one year in the life of the hawthorn.

    The specimen below can be found in the Easton section of the Bristol & Railway Path near the Brixton Road access point.

    Hawthorn tree on Railway Path in Easton

    Hawthorn is amongst the first trees to start budding in the spring (the above specimen first put out leaves in late January. Ed.) and is also a fast-growing plant. This may explain the alternative name of quickthorn.

    As it forms a dense, thorny mass of branches, it is often used for hedging, particularly where livestock has to be contained.

    Besides its agricultural value as hedging, common hawthorn can support more than 300 insects. It is a food plant for caterpillars of numerous moths. Its flowers are eaten by dormice and provide nectar and pollen for bees and other pollinating insects. The haws (berries) are rich in antioxidants and are eaten by migrating birds, such as redwings, fieldfares and thrushes, as well as small mammals.

    Furthermore, the dense, thorny foliage makes fantastic nesting shelter for many bird species of bird.

    Green Man ceiling boss, Rochester Cathedral

    Folklore and symbolism

    Hawthorn is a pagan symbol of fertility and has associations with May Day stretching back beyond written history. It was the forerunner of the Maypole and its leaves and flowers provided the source of May Day garlands as well as appearing in the wreath of the Green Man.

    In medieval times hawthorn was never brought indoors as it was generally believed that bringing its blossom indoors would result in illness and even death. In those times it was also commonly believed that hawthorn blossom smelled like the plague. In more recent times scientists have discovered the chemical trimethylamine (which smells like ammonia or rotting flesh. Ed.) in hawthorn blossom is also one of the first chemicals formed in rotting animal fish, hence the tree’s traditional linking with illness and death.

    In spite of the beliefs and symbolism outlined above, the young hawthorn leaves, flower buds and young flowers are all edible. The leaves are often described as having the flavour of bread and cheese. They can be added to green salads and grated root salads. The developing flower buds are particularly good. The haws can be eaten raw (beware a stomach upset. Ed.), but are most commonly used to make jellies and wines.

    A final personal note

    In my own life, the blossoming of the hawthorn always reminds me that spring is giving way to early summer.

    In particular, it reminds of when I was 8 years old and my mother took my 2 younger siblings and me by train all the way from Stafford to Harling Road in Norfolk – the nearest station to my grandmother’s home. The journey took the best part of a day (showing how difficult it was to travel cross-country in England, even in pre-Beeching times. Ed.). The fields on either side of the railway lines on which we travelled were thick with hawthorn blossoming pink and white.

    Whenever I see hawthorn in bloom these days, I’m immediately reminded of that one train journey, even though it’s now almost 6 decades in the past.

    Update: After writing this post, I asked both my siblings if they remembered that journey and if so, what they recalled. My sister replied that she recollected the journey as being interminable and her chief memory was all the trackside telegraph poles, whilst my brother – the youngest of us – responded with a question as to whether that was the railway trip during which he was sick. He obviously had other matters than lineside shrubbery on his mind. 😀

  • Proofreading failure dumps elderly in river

    Courtesy of my old college friend Paddy, I’ve been sent the following clipping from the dead tree edition of the Evesham Journal via social media.

    It relates to problems on the River Isbourne, a tributary of the Warwickshire Avon.

    Text reads: Mrs Payne says. fellow landowners nearby have had similar problems with vandalism and having items being thrown in the river, including the elderly.

    Even though the elderly have had a bath thanks to ambiguity and poor proofreading in the Evesham Journal’s dead tree version, this age discrimination has thankfully been eliminated from the paper’s online version of the report.

    No pensioners were harmed – or dunked – in the drafting of this blog post.

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