English usage

  • Toppled Road renamed

    Nearly half a year ago, your ‘umble scribe reported that Colston Road in Easton, a road named after Bristol-born slave trader, insider share dealer, financier, religious bigot and former Tory MP for the city had been unofficially renamed as Toppled Road (posts passim).

    On the other side of the road from the crudely painted Toppled Street on the side of a house, a new more official-looking street name sign has appeared in recent days.

    Colston Four Road
    The original street name sign is painted out as a token of the regard in which Eddie the Slaver is held locally.

    The new unofficial sign commemorates the acquittal by a Bristol jury of the so-called Colston Four who were tried for criminal damage when Colston’s statue in the centre of the city was brought down and dumped in the city docks during the course of a Black Lives Matter protest on 7 June 2020.

    Local residents have been uneasy for years about living in a street named after a so-called philanthropist who made his money from kidnapping, trafficking and exploiting to death thousands of unwilling Africans and have long campaigned for it to be changed, along with other reminders of the late Victorian Cult of Colston.

    Speaking to Easton councillor Barry Parsons yesterday, your correspondent asked him for an update on how the name change was progressing.

    He responded that the whole matter of street renamings was one of the topics handed over to the We Are Bristol History Commission, which has just recently issued its recommendations in respect of Colston’s statue, backing the general public view it belongs henceforth in a museum.

    However, any words of wisdom from the Commission regarding the fate of Bristol’s street names commemorating Eddie the Slaver have yet to be uttered and it would appear the matter has been (so to say) kicked into the long grass.

    In a final twist, the Bristol Post/Bristol Live is claiming that some of its less perceptive readers are “outraged at the change of name, with some actually believing the new sign has been erected by the city’s perfidious council, even though the sign’s design is clearly different to that used by the local authority, whose standard modern street name signs all include the first 3 characters of the road’s postcode

  • Ar Werth?

    Anglesey (Ynys Môn) is one of the strongholds of the Welsh language with figures as high as 78% being quoted for those with some proficiency in the tongue. The 2011 census revealed that some 68.56% of the island’s population were either fluent or had some proficiency.

    One would therefore expect the island’s linguistic identity and heritage to be respected.

    But no. As The Daily Post/North Wales Live has reported, an estate agent has apologised after an English-only For Sale sign was placed alongside Beaumaris Road (which is the main A545 road between Menai Bridge/Porthaethwy and Beaumaris. Ed.).

    Needless to say, the absence of the vernacular and mains means of communication on the island attracted the attention and ire of Welsh language campaigners, leading to its being defaced by a sticker bearing the wording “ble mae’r Gymraeg?” (where is the Welsh?).

    The wording is a slogan used by Cymdeithas yr Iaith (Welsh Language Society) and appears on stickers used as a means of peaceful protest. Over the years on the stickers have adorned road signs and telephone boxes, amongst other things.

    Ar Werth is For Sale in Welsh
    Doing it right along the banks of the Afon Dwfor in Gwynedd. Image courtesy of Christine Johnstone

    In response to criticism on social, estate agent Gavin Morgan has given an apology of sorts, responding: “Sorry guys my board is in Welsh and English, board company have erected the wrong board.”.

  • The half a million pound Pom

    The news is full of stories of inflation, which has now reached its highest level for many years, not only in the English Empire (which some still called the United Kingdom, Ed.) but around the world.

    Liz TrussNeedless to say, the travel and transport sector has not escaped inflationary pressures; and there is one particularly egregious example of this in the latest junket by one Elizabeth Mary Truss, inexplicably promoted to the post of Foreign Secretary in party-time alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson’s talent-free Cabinet.

    Liz is not exactly frugal where the expenditure of public funds in concerned. A previous junket she took to Japan when Trade Secretary cost the taxpayer a cool £2,080 in food and drink over 3 days for her and her civil service minders, despite these expenses being initially declared as £182 by the DIT.

    This prompted Opposition front bencher Emily Thornberry to remark as follows:

    There is a clear pattern of behaviour emerging here with Liz Truss, which raises serious questions about her character, because if her instinct is to hide the truth and hope that no one asks questions even over these expenses claims, what else is she willing to do that about?

    On her latest jolly (for which read trade mission. Ed.) to Australia, Ms Truss has managed to rack up a bill of a cool £500,000, mainly due to the using the government’s Airbus A321neo aircraft with special flag-shagger livery for the trip despite the same itinerary being able to be covered by scheduled flights at a far cheaper cost.

    The round trip to Australia and back burnt an estimated 150 tonnes of fuel and generated nearly 500 tonnes of CO2, according to The Independent.

    Truss’ entourage for the flight comprised 14 persons, not counting the 2 sets of flight crew needed for the trip.

    One of the excuses given for such profligacy was that of “security considerations“, including the fear that other passengers might have overheard conversations between Truss and her officials. Well, Liz and her garrulous staff are all supposed to be grown-ups, so isn’t it about time they learnt there are times when one keeps one’s mouth shut?

    Justifying her decision, The Independent quotes Ms Truss as saying the following:

    I used the Government plane – that is why we have a Government plane: to enable Government ministers to conduct Government business, and that’s what I flew to Australia in.

    In former times, Truss could have got to Australia for as little as 10 of your English pounds as part of the Assisted Passage Migration Scheme and been a so-called Ten Pound Pom instead of a half a million quid one, but then again she’s a woman in a hurry, especially when it comes to spending money that doesn’t belong to her. Bearing that in mind, a single trip costing £250,000 on Flag-Shagger Airways would have been great value for money in ridding the country of a particularly useless cabinet minister.

  • Metrology news

    Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
    Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to a new unit of measurement, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, as used yesterday by North Wales Online/Daily Post.

    The particular context for the use of the Leaning Tower of Pisa was the planning application by RWE Renewables to Denbighshire County Council for a 90-metre-high meteorological mast on land at Mynydd Mynyllod, Llandrillo, near Corwen.

    If planning permission is granted, the purpose of the mast the mast will be to collect wind data for three years to see whether the field is a suitable site for a wind farm.

    According to Wikipedia, the height of Pisa’s famous tower is 55.86 metres from the ground on the low side and 56.67 m on the high side.

    Your ‘umble scribe wonders what its equivalent is in football pitches, sizes of Wales and Stockholms (posts passim). 😉

  • No ifs, no butts

    On 21st January, Clean Up Britain launched the most comprehensive anti-cigarette litter campaign with a pilot in Bristol. Clean Up Britain eventually hopes to extend the pilot campaign to the rest of the country.

    Image courtesy of Clean Up Britain Campaign
    Background

    Anti-cigarette butt littering publicity from Clean Up BritainCigarette butts are the most littered item on the planet. Even in Britain some 27 billion cigarette butts littered in Britain every year. These dropped dog ends allow toxic contaminants to seep into the environment causing significant environmental pollution to watercourses and soil. Moreover, there are now three million e-cigarette users (aka vapers. Ed.) in Britain and e-cigarette waste is also very serious since it produces plastic, nicotine salts, heavy metals, lead, mercury and flammable lithium batteries, again endangering the soil, wildlife and watercourses.

    Clean Up Britain states it will be providing a comprehensive programme of behavioural change interventions in Bristol aimed at reducing cigarette butt littering at its source, by encouraging adult smokers to dispose of their cigarette butts properly. This will include various campaign publicity messages aimed at deterring the casual disposal of smoking waste.

    Your correspondent wonders if this initiative is being undertaken in isolation as there is no mention of it on the newsroom section of the Bristol City Council website or indeed on the wider city council website.

    How well or even whether this programme will work remains to be seen. Your ‘umble scribe will watch developments with interest.

  • Lookalikes – canine special

    Under pressure part-time alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is facing increased calls for his resignation following revelations of regular lockdown-busting parties at No. 10 Downing Street, two of which took place on the evening before the funeral of the late Philip Mountbatten-Windsor (aka Phil the Greek. Ed.).

    These latest revelations have been added to the evidence built up over the decades that Johnson – an immodest man with much to be modest about – is unfit to clean a public toilet, let alone occupy the highest elected office in the land. For a summary of Johnson’s lying, philandering, laziness, law-breaking and other character flaws, the latest Observer editorial comment is scathing, accusing Johnson of hurting the country and shaming his party.

    Furthermore, the mainstream media is only now starting to print and broadcast the shortcomings in character should have been general public knowledge long before Johnson’s name was even suggested as a suitable candidate for an election nomination paper.

    Johnson’s path to the most famous black door in the world has been an upward trajectory propelled by lies, incompetence and bluster.

    However, do not expect an egotistical creature with a sense of entitlement like Bozo the Clown to relinquish the power of the highest elected office in the land voluntarily.

    Like most who end up behind that black door, Johnson will leave claw marks down the pavement as he is evicted from behind Downing Street’s security gates.

    And so it has come to pass that, as The Independent announced two days ago,an egotistical character like Bozo the Clown Johnson is launching Operation Save Big Dog with, yes you guessed correctly, Johnson playing the eponymous subject of the operation.

    This will consist mainly of seeing which subordinates can be sacrificed to ensure Johnson himself survives in post.

    If Johnson were of the canine persuasion, his record suggests a more apposite adjective than big for this particular pooch would be rabid. Rabid dog and BorisJohnson

  • Cotswold colonialism

    The Cotswolds constituency, which includes the towns of Cirencester, Andoversford, Bourton-on-the-Water, Chipping Campden, Fairford, Lechlade, Moreton-in-Marsh, Northleach, Stow-on-the-Wold and Tetbury, are another modern rotten borough (or one-party state. Ed.), having returned a Conservative member to parliament for over 120 years.

    The members it returns also tend to hold reactionary views.

    The previous incumbent, Nicolas Ridley, who stepped down in 1990, is on record as having described the European Union’s the proposed Economic and Monetary Union as “a German racket designed to take over the whole of Europe” and said that giving up sovereignty to the European Union was as bad as giving it up to Adolf Hitler.

    official portrait of Geoffrey Clueless-BrownSo what of the present incumbent, one “Sir” Geoffrey Robert Clifton-Brown, old Etonian, alumnus of the Royal Agricultural College and chairman of the reactionary backbench 1922 Committee?

    Geoffrey hasn’t exactly endeared himself to the residents of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland in the past couple of days, according to Wales Online.

    Reporting on an interview on pandemic restrictions given to Murdoch-owned Times Radio, Clinton-Brown is on record as stating that the other nations in the English Empire (which some still call the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Ed.) having different rules to England was damaging people’s liberties and the economy.

    When asked “How concerned are you about England being out of step with the rest of the country?“, Clinton-Brown replied as follows:

    I think it’s the other way around. I think the principalities are out of step with with with England. I think they have been overly cautious. I think they’re doing more damage to their economies than they need to. I think they’re doing more damage to people’s liberties than they need to. I just don’t think the evidence unless as I say the data coming out today is very different. I don’t think the evidence is there for any further measures.

    Principalities, Geoffrey?

    Right.

    Let’s take this apart slowly. The English Empire is made up of four allegedly equal parts. First there’s the Principality of Wales, which mostly annexed by England in the 13th century. It where lots of the later colonial tactics used in the British Empire to oppress the native were first implemented and/or tried out, (such as e.g. the suppression of the local language in the country’s administration). Then there’s the Kingdom of Scotland, a sovereign state in its own right that entered the Treaty of Union with England in 1706. And finally, there’s Northern Ireland. Ireland’s history with the English/British state is bitter and complicated, but the final six counties still occupied by the British state are commonly referred to as a province.

    So that makes one principality, one kingdom and one province. That’s right; just one principality.

    Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland all now have devolved local assemblies. One of the remits of each of the devolved administrations is health. Westminster has no say in what the Senedd Cymru, Scottish Parliament and Northern Ireland Legislative Assembly; and Westminster has decided that England does not need the stricter pandemic restrictions introduced by the devolved assemblies.

    And that’s what Geoffrey dislikes. His whole attitude in that interview comes across as condescending. He might be concerned about personal liberties and the economy, but his real gripe is the loss of centralised control Whitehall and Westminster used to have over England’s remaining colonies, which is how the devolved regions were treated before devolution.

    Congratulations, Geoffrey! No doubt you call yourself a Unionist, i.e. a supporter of the continued unity of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland as one sovereign state.

    Words are important; and your insensitive remarks and ill-chosen vocabulary have more than likely contributed to the dissolution of that union in the face of growing calls for Scottish and Welsh independence, as well as boosting the chances of Irish reunification.

  • Another day, another dreadful Reach headline

    Another day, another dreadful headline from a Reach plc (formerly Trinity Mirror. Ed.) title.

    Today’s comes courtesy of Wales Online and features 2 regular features: firstly the desire the pack the entire story into the headline (instead of that anachronistic practice of giving the odd hint about it. Ed.); and secondly ambiguity.

    Headline reads The town at panic stations every time there's a flood warning which is being left at the mercy of climate change

    In my first job after graduating, part of the introduction to the company’s house style involved avoiding ambiguity at all costs.

    This is evidently no longer the case in large swathes of the local press, especially where the titles are owned by the two big players: the aforementioned Reach plc and Newsquest Media Group Ltd.

  • Ambiguity back in the headlines

    Another day, another example of unwitting ambiguity from a representative of the fourth estate.

    Step forward and take a bow, Glasgow Times.

    Headline reads Glasgow thug threw bottle of alcohol containing accelerant at cars causing fire on road

    Your ‘umble scribe has already asked the publication via social media why cars were setting fire to the road, but is not hopeful of receiving a cogent reply; or any reply at all for that matter.

  • By-election special

    Owen PatersonFollowing the resignation as a backbench MP of the disgraced former Secretary of State for Northern Ireland Owen Paterson, a by-election has been called for the North Shropshire constituency (where your ‘umble scribe was born and raised. Ed.), the Tory virtual one party state which has returned a Tory member in every poll bar one* since implementation of the so-called Great” Reform Act of 1832.

    Paterson decided to resign and leave what he called the “cruel world of politics” (if you want to see how cruel the world of politics is, Paterson’s voting record is online. Ed.) after public outcry following a botched attempt by part-time alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson to save his pal from 30 days’ suspension from the Commons for what the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards termed an “egregious case of paid advocacy“.

    The full list of fourteen candidates for the by-election has now been released, including for the Tories one Neil Shastri-Hurst, a barrister parachuted in from Birmingham into what should for them be a safe seat.

    Given its history, the contest should be a shoe-in for the Blue Team, given that the disgraced former member had a majority just short of 23,000 and that the large number of candidates standing will inevitably split the anti-Conservative vote.

    Campaigning has already begun, with prominent and less prominent occupiers of those green leather benches in Westminster turning out to support their chosen candidate, in this case that Brummie barrister.

    At which point step forward the honourable Mr Edmund Frances Hughes, who owes his position to the gullibility of voters in the constituency of Walsall North.

    Except for the fact that Eddie did not so much step forward as trip over his own two feet and end up flat on his face on social media with one tweet.

    Yesterday afternoon in a tweet featuring not only the Brummie barrister, but also Oliver Dowden MP, the former Secretary of State for Culture Wars, Eddie wrote:

    Very positive day campaigning in Wem for the North Staffs. by-election.
    Dr. Neil Shastri-Hurst would be an excellent MP, and already has a proven track record of public service.

    Yes, you did read that tweet correctly. Eddie has moved Wem from the rural acres of north Shropshire to somewhere in the vicinity of the Potteries conurbation, which might have some effect on voters as regards the competence of the Blue Team.

    However, it is not just the Conservatives’ drafted-in support that seems to be having problems knowing exactly where above the centre it is. That affliction also extended to their candidate himself, Mr Neil Shastri-Hurst, if a tweet by Harry Taylor is to be believed. Harry writes:

    Just read that a voter in Wem was shocked that the Tory candidate thought he was actually in Oswestry (20 miles away!). This coming after Eddie Hughes MP thought he was in North Staffs – a constituency abolished in 1885 – is sending quite a message to voters.
    High Street of the ‘North Staffordshire’ town of Wem. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    After all, if members of the governing party don’t even know what county or town they are in, how can they possibly be expected to cope with far more difficult stuff, like the complicated legal text of draft legislation?

    *=In the first election held in the new constituency in 1832, North Shropshire was a two-member seat, returning one Tory and one Whig MP. After becoming a single member seat, the only time a non-Tory was elected was in 1904, when it was a Liberal Party seat for a mere two years.

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