Language | Steve Woods

Know worries

16/10/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics

The verb to know and the associated noun knowledge are both concerned with the possession of information, awareness, familiarity, recognition and the like.

Over the centuries this has resulted in some very specialised uses. One of these is the phrase carnal knowledge, described by Wikipedia as “an archaic or legal euphemism for sexual intercourse“. Thus the verb to know can take on sexual connotations. The most notable example of this usage is in the King James Bible in Luke 1. This is where Mary receives news from the angel Gabriel that she is to be mother of the son of God. When so enlightened, she replies as follows in verse 34, implying she is either unmarried, a virgin, or both:

Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?

Hello, hello, hello!
What are you writing about here then?
Besides the field of human physical relationships, another field in which know has a particular meaning is law enforcement. The phrase in question in this context is “known to police“. Anyone who is known to police is not usually a person who drops into the station regularly for tea, biscuits and a chat. The phrase implies one has been arrested, charged and possibly convicted too, i.e. one has a criminal record.

Or at least it did until this week.

Yesterday’s Bristol Live/Post carried a report of an Avon & Somerset Police Question Time on 14th October featuring Chief Constable Sarah Crew and Clare Moody, the elected Police & Crime Commissioner.

At one stage the discussion turned to human trafficking and modern slavery. The Chief Constable remarked that places of employment where trafficking was suspected included car washes, nail bars, care homes and agriculture.

To this Ms Moody added:

Victims of modern slavery and human trafficking are some of the most vulnerable people in our society.

In order to be able to intervene in this criminality you have to be able to identify it’s happening. Your own threat assessment estimates that only ten per cent of the victims of this crime are known to Avon & Somerset Police.

Is Ms Moody implying that 10 per cent of slavery and trafficking victims have a criminal record or have been previously arrested by Avon & Somerset’s finest? Or is she unaware of the special meaning of known to police?

Your ‘umble scribe suspects the latter.

Is known to police on the route to becoming another archaic or legal euphemism? Add your thoughts in the comments below.
Whom the gods wish to destroy…

01/10/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Social Media

The seventeenth and eighteenth centuries saw the revival of a phrase dating back to ancient Greece and such luminaries as the philosophers Sophocles, Plato and the playwright Aeschylus. That phrase, still with us today, is generally rendered as Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.

All of which bring us neatly from ancient Greece and the Enlightenment to the 21st century and the United States presidential campaign.

Kindly step forward disgraced former president, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat, one Donald John Trump, an immodest man with much to be modest about.

Despite being the worst president in modern times, the felonious Trump is once again running for office. One reason for this might be to keep him out of jail for his 34 current felony convictions, with probably more to follow for stealing classified documents and other high crimes and misdemeanors (as per the US constitution).

However, as the campaign has progressed – not necessarily to The Donald’s advantage – it has become increasingly apparent that Trump is becoming increasingly incoherent and possibly senile.

Take, for example, the post below on his Truth Social account on the havoc caused by Hurricane Helene recently.

Note in particular the use of block capitals, a sure sign of something awry.

Yes, you did read that correctly: it was all the fault of the incumbent Biden-Harris administration, which is a fairly typical Trump assertion. However, the claim in the next sentence that the hurricane would never have come near the US of A reveals delusions of divine powers, i.e. the ability to control the weather.

This is not the first time Trump has had difficulty with a hurricane. Those with long political memories may recall Sharpiegate during The Donald’s disastrous occupancy of the Oval Office. The hurricane’s name was Dorian and, as CNN reported at the time, little Donny used a black Sharpie (a brand of felt-tipped pen popular in the USA. Ed.) to alter an official National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration map to include Alabama in the hurricane’s predicted course.

Make America Grate Again, eh Donald? 😉
Curved handles

29/09/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

Friday’s Bristol Live/Post had a piece on an appeal to the public for information on an incident that happened a while ago in Easton. The vital part of the appeal reads as follows:

Investigating officers have released a picture of a man, who was riding a silver road bike with curved handles, who they would like to identify in connection with the assault. They said it took place on Stapleton Road on Wednesday, August 7.

Curved handles? Since when has a bicycle had handles, let alone curved ones.

At first, your correspondent believed this was just another of Reach plc ‘journalists’ publicly displaying his/her ignorance of the English language, bearing in mind the fact that the correct use of terminology – le mot juste as the French would have it – is vital for comprehension and a lack of confusion on the part of the reader.

The police press office also provided a useful picture of the suspect, plus bicycle complete with those mysterious curved handles.

Those infamous curved handles. Image courtesy of Avon & Somerset Police.

Anyway, your ‘umble scribe went looking for Plod’s original press release on the Avon & Somerset Police website.
.
The following sentence can be read therein:

The man pictured is described as white, slim, in his 20s or 30s and has dark hair and facial hair. He is seen wearing a black Adidas hooded top and tracksuit bottoms. He is in possession of a silver road bike with curved handles {sic].

That’s right! Those curved handles actually originated at police headquarters out at Portishead and not in Bristol’s infamous Temple Way Ministry of Truth.

This is curious as the police allegedly require high standards from their staff as a recent advertisement for a communications officer reveals.

You will have strong oral and written communications skills, an exceptional eye for detail…

The use of the phrase curved handles does show that the author has written communications skills but not strong ones, whilst the lack of an exceptional eye for detail is displayed by an ignorance of the importance of the correct use of terminology.

Words matter, except in Plod’s press room, whilst the ‘journalist’ responsible for copying and pasting the original press release should have been diligent enough to notice the original error and not repeated it, but as a former sub-editor cum media studies lecturer friend pointed out, today’s media studies student (and by implication graduates. Ed.) do not have a very high standard of English.

Finally, hose curved handles are known to most folk outside the police press office and Bristol Live/Post as drop handlebars. 😀
The ‘little list’ man returns

10/09/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics

One of the more interesting aspects of the current Nasty Party (© Theresa May) leadership competition is the number of old Tory politicians sticking their heads back above the parapet to endorse various Conservative leadership contenders. In addition, it serves as a reminder to the rest of us just how awful those candidates are, as well as how dreadful the endorsers were when in office and still are today.

Yesterday’s Guardian reminds us that in an article in The Times (paywalled) that ‘Lord’ Peter Lilley, who was Secretary of State for Social Security under John Major, as well as occupying other ministerial and party positions under other party leaders, announced his endorsement of leadership contender Kemi Badenoch (a person so unpleasant Guardian political sketch writer John Crace has described her as being able to “start a fight with her own reflection. Ed.), drawing attention to her engineering background and aligning it with the scientific background of the sainted Thatcher, as follows:
Since Margaret Thatcher, a science graduate, nearly every prime minister and party leader of both the Tories and Labour has been a wordsmith. They mostly studied politics, philosophy and economics, or law. They were good at using words, all too often twisting words to explain away failure and rationalise broken promises, or finding out what people want then telling them what they want to hear. But they lacked the mindset to organise and plan the deployment of resources and people.

Lilley may have denounced the law and Oxbridge PPE graduates who tend to dominate modern politics and their twisted use of words, but he himself has not been immune in his time from twisting words for political effect, as was more than apparent in his 1992 speech to the Conservative Party conference, in which he referred to his notorious ‘Little List‘ which demonised those unfortunate enough to have to claim social security benefits under a Tory government – usually demonised as fraudsters and scroungers.

The transcript of Lilley’s parody from Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado reads as follows:

I’ve got a little list / Of benefit offenders who I’ll soon be rooting out / And who never would be missed / They never would be missed. /
There’s those who make up bogus claims / In half a dozen names / And councillors who draw the dole / To run left-wing campaigns / They never would be missed / They never would be missed. /
There’s young ladies who get pregnant just to jump the housing queue / And dads who won’t support the kids / of ladies they have … kissed / And I haven’t even mentioned all those sponging socialists / I’ve got them on my list / And they’ll none of them be missed / They’ll none of them be missed.

Do you remember what is said about people who live in glass houses, Mr Lilley? 😀
One American can’t do irony

26/08/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Oddities, Social Media

Last week this blog featured a post entitled America does irony (posts passim). However, your ‘umble scribe perhaps ought to have prefaced the title with the qualifying Some of… as rules that are not hard and fast have exceptions to them.

And here we come to a very big exception: namely the disgraced former 45th president of the United States, convicted felon, insurrectionist, adjudicated business fraudster, confirmed sexual predator, perpetual liar and serial golf cheat one Donald John Trump.

Anyone with two working brain cells and a hole in their backside can see the ridiculousness of The Donald’s position, even though the man himself – in the loosest sense of the word – is totally unaware of the fool he is making of himself, against which the so-called Bushisms, i.e. those unconventional statements, phrases, pronunciations, malapropisms, and semantic or linguistic errors made in the public speaking of George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, look positively endearing. But then again, George Dubya is another Republican…
Days out ideas. Time machine required

25/08/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Oddities, Social Media

When parliament rises for the summer recess, the period until it reconvenes in the autumn is traditionally known as the silly season. This time of year was traditionally when the press would scramble around desperately for something newsworthy and printable.

This has changed somewhat in recent decades due to the emergence of the 24 hours news cycle driven by technological change, including the rise of social media.

However, the need to find worthwhile to publish is exacerbated when the silly season also includes a public holiday, a time when the great unwashed needs to be kept amused and entertained, which brings us to a piece in today’s edition of the Bristol Post/Live.

Yes, you did read the headline correctly. It does say 2024. Sadly, in this particular item, Bristol’s Reach plc local news title has not followed standard Reach procedure and included affiliate links to time machine providers in the copy, so those intent on visiting Bristol’s hinterland last year will have to go and look for their own, at least until the proofreader returns from holiday. 🙂
America does irony

22/08/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Social Media

A common misconception about US citizens is that Americans en bloc cannot do irony.

This is known as stereotyping, i.e. people attributing a set idea they have about what someone or something is like, especially an idea that is wrong.

The stereotyping was misproved (yet again!) earlier this week by the post below on the former social media site now known as X (mostly for the rating of its content. Ed.) in relation to the disgraced 45th President of the United States, adjudicated sexual predator, condemned business fraudster, convicted felon and compulsive liar, one Donald John Trump.

In the dictionary irony is defined as follows:

a situation in which something which was intended to have a particular result has the opposite or a very different result.

Anyone who does come out with the ‘Americans can’t do irony‘ phrase needs to look up what a national or ethnic stereotype is. 😀
Cat educates thick rich man

10/08/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Social Media

The social media account of Larry the Cat, Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office, is no stranger to this blog (posts passim).

Larry has now taken to his keyboard yet again to educate an ignorant, insulting rich man who owns a social media platform to educate the latter on the letter of the law in connection with the recent fascist riots in the Untied Kingdom*.

In recent days Elon Musk, (yes, him! Ed.) has waded into the debate about rioting thugs, claiming the disturbances to be a matter of free speech, not violence and racism against vulnerable people who have sought asylum in the country.

Amongst the many replies to Musk came one from the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office, a canny political operator who has so far survived the premierships of six prime ministers – David ‘Call Me Dave’ Cameron, Theresa May, disgraced former alleged party-time PM Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, one Mary Elizabeth Truss and Rishi Sunak.

Although he started out life as a stray, Larry quickly became acclimatised to the political climate in Whitehall, famously being one of those resignations which led to the downfall of Johnson, a man unfit to clean a public lavatory, let alone occupy the highest elected public office in the land (posts passim).

Larry has posted the following response to Musk’s bland and blissfully ignorant exhortation.

Ouch!

* = Mis-spelling is deliberate.
The continuing menace of driverless vehicles

01/08/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

All over the country, every day driverless vehicles are colliding with other vehicles and/or structures according to the local press.

Here’s a typical example from today’s Bristol Live/Post to accompany the screenshot below.

Nowhere in the entire report is there any mention of a driver, i.e. someone who might have been able to avoid the vehicle in question deciding to crash into the railway bridge of its own volition.

Furthermore, the byline shows that someone is unfamiliar with basic English language. It reads:

Services are at a stand.

The byline is in fact quoted from Inrix, a US-based traffic data company which now operates in the Untied Kingdom, but seems to be unfamiliar with the word standstill. If any illiterate Inrix employees happen to be passing, it is defined as a condition in which all movement or activity has stopped.
The phrase at a stand does exist, but its meaning – in a state of confusion or uncertainty; undecided what to do next – is subtly different from standstill.
Newspaper gives fascist geography lesson

22/07/2024 Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics, Social Media
An interesting mini-drama has played out on social media this morning in the wake of incumbent US president Joe Biden’s decision to step down from the impending campaign in that country’s presidential election.

The dramatis personae are as follows:
- Johannes Huber, a member of the far-right AfD party who serves as a member of the Federal Parliament (MdB); and
- The Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung (FAZ), one of Germany’s major newspapers.
In common with the characteristics of the species homo politicus, i.e. approaching each and every subject with an open mouth, Huber took one look at the news of Joe Biden’s decision to step down from the forthcoming US presidential election (called a general election in the USA. Ed.), got straight on to X/Twitter to post the words ‘Biden is not my President!’.

Note the exclamation mark. 😀

This enabled the FAZ to reply sarcastically to the MdB in question ‘Dear Johannes Huber MP, correct, your president is Federal President Frank-Walter Steinmeier. Best wishes‘, giving him both a timely geography lesson reminding him not so subtly that he is in fact a German citizen.

Meanwhile in the actual presidential campaign itself, Biden has formally endorsed his vice-president Kamala Harris to be the Democrats’ candidate; and Harris looks like she’s relishing the prospect of putting victim-playing egomaniac and disgraced former president Donald John Trump in his place.

Ouch!

The next few months promise to be interesting times indeed.

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