Bristol | Steve Woods

Bristol Post Balls – irritable vowel syndrome

11/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

If you either travel into or out of Bristol from the south or sail into or out of the city docks, you’ll be familiar with the Plimsoll Bridge, a swing bridge built over the Cumberland Basin in 1965.

Bristol’s Plimsoll Bridge in action. Picture courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Unfortunately, there’s been some trouble with the bridge recently: during one recent rush hour swing some vital part broke and the bridge remained open – and closed to motor traffic – until the next day when it was cranked closed by hand.

The various repairs that need to be carried out will require several weeks and vessels with high masts will therefore not be able to get into and out of the docks for that period.

Yesterday the Bristol Post’s Michael Ribbeck reported on the latest stage of repairs.

His first sentence reads as follows:

A carriageway of a swing bridge in the centre of Bristol had to be closed overnight while repairs were carried out to lose joints.

Poor Michael! Not only does he have trouble with his vowels, as with the old Stork margarine advertisement, he can’t tell verbs from adjectives! 🙂
Bristol Post Balls – Write ’em cowboy!

06/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

Besides its use in the agricultural context, the term ‘cowboy‘ has long been in use informally to describe a person who is an irresponsible or unscrupulous operator, as in the phrase cowboy builder.

Today’s Bristol Post carries a report where it’s uncertain as to who are the cowboys – the builders or the journalists who wrote the piece.

The report in question covers repairs and refurbishment works currently underway at the former home of Thomas Chatterton (20th November 1752 – 24th August 1770), Bristol’s renowned 18th century poet and forger of alleged medieval literary works.

With a sharp eye for inaccuracies, my attention was drawn to the following passage in paragraph 8:

Lathe and plaster is being used on the walls and re-rendering on the outside is being carried out with limestone instead of modern materials so the original stonework can “breathe”.

For anyone familiar with traditional building techniques, the 2 absolute howlers in there are immediately apparent.

For anyone unfamiliar with traditional building techniques, such as passing Bristol Post journalists in search of enlightenment, here’s an illustrated guide showing where the authors went wrong.

Here is a lathe: this one is for working metal; other types can be used for wood and other materials.

Here are some laths, minus their original plaster coating.

This is limestone – a whole pavement of it.

This is a house in St. Davids, Wales showing a traditional limewash finish, yellow ochre coloured in this case.
Confusion in Castle Park

02/01/2014 Steve WoodsBristol, Oddities, Politics

So far winter in Bristol has been not like winter at all; it’s been mostly mild and rather wet.

As a result some of the local trees – like this cherry in Castle Park (picture taken this morning. Ed.) – are somewhat confused and believe it’s spring already, judging by the display of blossom.

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now is hung with bloom along the bough… (A.E. Housman)

However, where Castle Park is concerned, it’s not just its cherry trees that are confused. Its custodians – Bristol City Council – are confused too.

According to the council’s Central Area Action Plan (CAAP) the western end of Castle Park is a prime development opportunity and has been earmarked for covering in concrete at a time when the city has enough empty shops, offices and other commercial space to cope with another recession besides the one that is allegedly now at an end.

This act of municipal largesse to developers comes in spite of the fact that over 95% of CAAP consultation responses relating to Castle Park were against any development that would mean building on the park and that it’s only some 5 or 6 years since the council encountered firm opposition from Bristolians the last time it proposed developing this bit of Castle Park.

Once again, there’s a petition against the development of Castle Park. Its preamble reads as follows:

As a resident of Bristol, I am dismayed at and object to the proposals in the current Bristol Central Area Plan to build on green space and to cut down some 40 mature trees in the St Mary le Port area of Castle Park and in the High St and Wine St which border it.

Whilst the old disused buildings there are indeed in need of refurbishment and bringing into use, I do not accept that to do so it is necessary to build on any of the existing green space surrounding the buildings or to cut down the trees, which is what the proposals would mean.

Further, this is hardly in line with Bristol being the European Green Capital in 2015.

Sign the petition.
Bristol Post Balls – publish and be damned

26/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol, Media

‘Publish and be damned’ was the the reaction in 1824 of one Arthur Wellesley (1st May 1769 – 14th September 1852) when courtesan Harriette Wilson (whose clients included the then Prince of Wales, the Lord Chancellor and four future Prime Ministers. Ed.) threatened to publish her memoirs and his letters with the possibility of his reputation being damaged. Her decision to publish was based partly on the broken promises of her lovers to provide her with an income in her later years.

However, for the Bristol Post publish and be damned would appear to be its normal modus operandi – at least as far as the online edition is concerned. The hacks down at the Temple Way Ministry of Truth are far too eager to hit the ‘publish’ button when their work is far from ready for publication, as evidenced by this morning’s screenshot of this post, which may have been rectified by the time you visit the site.

Harriette Wilson’s memoirs are still in print. How long can the Post last?

Update, 9.00 am: the piece has been pulled and now returns a 404 error page. However, this does not mean it won’t rise again vampire-like from the crypt.

Update, 10.20 am: It’s back!
The art of parking

24/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol

The picture below showing the parking skills of Avon & Somerset Constabulary’s finest was taken at 9.30 am on 24th December in Bannerman Road in the Easton area of Bristol.

Rule 244 of the Highway Code states:

You MUST NOT park partially or wholly on the pavement in London, and should not do so elsewhere unless signs permit it. Parking on the pavement can obstruct and seriously inconvenience pedestrians, people in wheelchairs or with visual impairments and people with prams or pushchairs.

No further comment is necessary apart from to say that Mr Plod needs either refresher classes in the Highway Code or cannot be bothered to abide by it, especially since there was plenty of room to park with consideration not 20 metres away.
Bristol Post Balls – recycling rubbish

19/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol, Media

Today’s Bristol Post has a report on Bristol City Council’s waste contractors May Gurney and their planning application for their recycling operation, complete with a picture – kindly inserted by the Post’s Inappropriate Pictures Dept. ( whose work complements that of the Invisible Pictures Dept. featured yesterday. Ed. – of one of their new traffic congestion-busting refuse lorries!

Below is the usual screenshot ready for when someone on Temple Way realises a mistake has been made. 🙂
Bristol Post Balls – getting the picture

18/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol, Media

One of the parts of the Bristol Post whose work is largely unseen is its Invisible Pictures Department, which spends its working day making sure photographs and other images are omitted from articles published in the paper, particularly its online version.

Here’s screenshot of a fine example of its work taken first thing this morning from today’s online edition.

Update: Photographs were finally added to the post at lunchtime, i.e. some 4 hours after it was originally posted, which is no doubt indicative of how much the Post values its online readers.
Bristol Post Balls: the return of the greengrocer

16/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

The Bristol Post is no stranger to the greengrocer’s (or superfluous) apostrophe (posts passim).

There’s a fine example in the headline for a photo gallery in today’s online edition.

Santa’s 2013 what, Bristol Post?

The mandatory screenshot is included above as the occupants of the Temple Way Ministry of Truth may have realised or been alerted to their mistake (I’m sure they wait use your daily review of the paper’s contents as a proofreading tool. Ed.) by the time you read this.
Felix Road Adventure Playground – latest

13/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics, Social Media

I live not very far away from Felix Road Adventure Playground, which for four decades has provided opportunities for play for inner city children in Easton.

Felix Rd Adventure Playground

As regular readers will be aware, the playground has been under threat of closure ever since Bristol City Council made a mess of outsourcing play facilities around the city.

In response to this calamitous cock-up, local Easton residents organised a petition to save Felix Road (posts passim).

According to the Save Felix Road Twitter account, a debate on the playground will be held at a full meeting of Bristol City Council on 17th December as the petition has gained more than the required number of signatures to trigger a discussion in the council chamber.

I’ll await developments with interest as it’s not right that children in one of the most deprived parts of the city suffer when Bristol City Council cocks things up.
Bristol Open Data meet-up next month

13/12/2013 Steve WoodsBristol, Open Data, Politics, Tech

There’s an open data meet-up taking place in central Bristol next month.

It will be held on 30th January 2014 at the Watershed, 1 Canon’s Road, Bristol, BS1 5TX (map) from 7 pm to 10 pm.

The few details that are available at present can be seen here.

Topics to be discussed will include licensing, linked open data, open data and open government.

Speakers are due to be announced in due course and I’ll keep readers updated of developments as the event gets nearer.

Hat tip: Jukesie

Originally posted on Bristol Wireless.

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