Bristol

  • Councillor-sized bins in BS5

    Yesterday your ‘umble scribe was invited to take part in a site visit to Stapleton Road for councillors on the city council’s Environment & Sustainability Committee. Also in attendance were senior council officers, including the head of the Neighbourhood Enforcement Team, representatives of Bristol Waste Company (BWC) and Easton ward councillor Jenny Bartle. Unfortunately, only two of the members of the committee showed up, although one of those was its chair. 🙁

    House clearance fly-tip outside former Concorde Cinema on Stapleton RoadWe took the best part of an hour to wander up and down a half kilometre section of Stapleton Road, during which some all-too familiar and depressing sights were seen, such as house clearances (right) and piles of trade waste outside closed down shops.

    Both your ‘umble scribe and officers present pointed out that the area was afflicted by many interrelated problems, e.g. pavement parking by selfish motorists combined with fly-tipping makes using the footways impossible in places, particularly for those such as parent with prams and buggies, or the disabled.

    However, BWC’s community engagement team used the opportunity to plan future visits and actions to help residents present their waste and recycling properly. We were also informed how fly-tips were ranked by priority for removal, as well as the special bag collection arrangements along Stapleton Road.

    We also noted changes to the local street furniture, including the installation of councillor-sized bins to cope with the litter!

    Cllr. Jenny Bartle and a litter bin at the junction of Stapleton Road and Oxford Place, Bristol.

    The new bins have appeared at junctions close to where takeaway food shops are concentrated on this section of Stapleton Road and it appears to be part of wider efforts to replace/upgrade litter bin provision across Bristol’s Easton and Lawrence Hill wards.

  • Bristol Live exclusive: M4 diverted via Somerset

    The London to South Wales motorway, otherwise known as the M4, runs from Chiswick in the west of London to Pont Abraham Services near Pontarddulais in Sir Gaerfyrddin (that’s Carmarthenshire for monoglots. Ed.). It passes through or close to the major towns and cities of Slough, Reading, Swindon, Bristol, Casnewydd (Newport), Caerdydd (Cardiff) Pen-y-bont ar Ogwr (Bridgend), Port Talbot and Abertawe (Swansea).

    The route of the M4
    Route of the M4. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

    Or rather it did: until a traffic report on Sunday in Bristol Live which saw road repairs move it several tens of kilometres south from South Gloucestershire, the unitary authority in which Tormarton is situated to Somerset.

    Headline reads Motorway lane shut in Somerset after road repairs 'fail to set'

    Fact checking is important when reporting the news, except it seems when one works as a Reach plc ‘journalist‘: or the newsroom atlas has inexplicably gone missing; or is non-existent.

  • Curved handles

    Friday’s Bristol Live/Post had a piece on an appeal to the public for information on an incident that happened a while ago in Easton. The vital part of the appeal reads as follows:

    Investigating officers have released a picture of a man, who was riding a silver road bike with curved handles, who they would like to identify in connection with the assault. They said it took place on Stapleton Road on Wednesday, August 7.

    Curved handles? Since when has a bicycle had handles, let alone curved ones.

    At first, your correspondent believed this was just another of Reach plc ‘journalists’ publicly displaying his/her ignorance of the English language, bearing in mind the fact that the correct use of terminology – le mot juste as the French would have it – is vital for comprehension and a lack of confusion on the part of the reader.

    The police press office also provided a useful picture of the suspect, plus bicycle complete with those mysterious curved handles.

    Those infamous curved handles. Image courtesy of Avon & Somerset Police.

    Anyway, your ‘umble scribe went looking for Plod’s original press release on the Avon & Somerset Police website.

    .

    The following sentence can be read therein:

    The man pictured is described as white, slim, in his 20s or 30s and has dark hair and facial hair. He is seen wearing a black Adidas hooded top and tracksuit bottoms. He is in possession of a silver road bike with curved handles {sic].

    That’s right! Those curved handles actually originated at police headquarters out at Portishead and not in Bristol’s infamous Temple Way Ministry of Truth.

    This is curious as the police allegedly require high standards from their staff as a recent advertisement for a communications officer reveals.

    You will have strong oral and written communications skills, an exceptional eye for detail…

    The use of the phrase curved handles does show that the author has written communications skills but not strong ones, whilst the lack of an exceptional eye for detail is displayed by an ignorance of the importance of the correct use of terminology.

    Words matter, except in Plod’s press room, whilst the ‘journalist’ responsible for copying and pasting the original press release should have been diligent enough to notice the original error and not repeated it, but as a former sub-editor cum media studies lecturer friend pointed out, today’s media studies student (and by implication graduates. Ed.) do not have a very high standard of English.

    Finally, hose curved handles are known to most folk outside the police press office and Bristol Live/Post as drop handlebars. 😀

  • Council seizes fly-tipper’s van

    There was a rare item on the Bristol Live website today. Bristol City Council decided to publicise an element of its enforcement activities against fly-tippers and other environmental criminals.

    Normally a shy and retiring organisation where its enforcement activities are concerned, the council is very publicity-shy about the number of people it deals with for environmental crimes, preferring quietly to issue fixed penalty notices (FPNs) of up to £1,000 a time. However, the council has this time taken firmer than normal action against an alleged fly-tipper by seizing the alleged offender’s vehicle in the city’s Hartcliffe are and towing it away, as well as the more unusual step of publicising its operation.

    Image courtesy of Bristol City Council Neighbourhood Enforcement

    The council was acting under section 34b of the 1990 Environmental Protection Act – the right to search or seize vehicles if a fly-tipping offence has been committed, the vehicle was used in the commission of the offence and proceedings for that offence have not yet been brought, or if the vehicle is about to be used or is being used in a fly-tipping offence.

    Having repeatedly pleaded with the council to publicise its actions – if only for their deterrent effect – your ‘umble scribe is very pleased to see this welcome change and only has a further five words of advice to those in waste management and enforcement down the Counts Louse*: keep up the good work!

    * = The traditional spelling for and pronunciation of the local authority’s headquarters within the city.

  • Two cities, two cuisines, one politics

    All cultures, countries and regions around the world have their own local cuisines, some indigenous, some introduced by incomers and yet others a mixture of the two.

    Also termed food cultures, your correspondent notes that food is often inextricably linked to politics as well as identity, as has been apparent in two separate examples from the cities of Bristol and Chicago.

    In your ‘umble scribe’s sixty-something years of existence, food in the Untied Kingdom (mis-spelling deliberate. Ed.) has changed beyond all recognition with dishes and tastes from right around the world become increasingly available. I well remember the curiosity and excitement when the first Chinese takeaway opened in my home town of Market Drayton in North Shropshire all those decades ago.

    Since those long gone days, takeaway food has become a staple in the British diet; and with the advent of delivery services such as JustEat and Deliveroo, customers can now order takeaways without having to rise from their sofas.

    In this post, your correspondent notes that in two separate cites – Bristol and Chicago.

    Bristol

    First Bristol and a comment on the ephemeral nature of catering establishments despite everyone’s need for food and delivery services. The subvertising in the following photograph was spotted on the city’s Fishponds Road yesterday afternoon.

    Note how the subvertising has got the background colour of the original JustEat sign almost right, as well as matching the original font faithfully.

    Subvertised sign on disused takeaway now reading Just Eat The Rich

    As regards the phrase ‘Eat The Rich, your ‘umble scribe thought it was a modern phrase arising out of anarchist political thought in response to ever-increasing increasing wealth inequality and food insecurity. However, it actually goes back rather further.

    That rather further back takes us to the days of the Terror which followed the French revolution. On 17th October 1793, Pierre Gaspard Chaumette, President of the Paris Commune, gave a speech to the city in which he apocryphally remarked that the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau said the following:

    Quand le peuple n’aura plus rien à manger, il mangera le riche.

    In English this translates to the following:

    When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich.
    Chicago

    Next to Chicago and more specifically The Wieners Circle, which describes itself as an ‘iconic hotdog stand on the north side of Chicago serving up high quality street food with a side of insults‘ [sic].

    The Chicago eatery has responded in feisty fashion to the unfounded assertion made by the disgraced former president, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat, one Donald John Trump, that immigrants in Springfield, Ohio were eating residents’ pets during his recent televised debate with the Democrats presidential election candidate, Kamala Harris, as shown below.

    Illuminated sign for The Wieners Circle withe the addendum Immigrants eat our dogs

    Politics and food also have a long relationship. Back in 1798, Cartoonist James Gillray published ‘John Bull taking a Luncheon: – or – British Cooks, cramming Old Grumble-Gizzard, with Bonne-Chere‘ shortly after Nelson’s victory over the French at the Battle of the Nile. The strong link continues today as shown not only by these examples from Bristol and Chicago, but also by American Republicans renaming French fries ‘freedom fries‘ after French opposition to the 2003 Iraq war (cheese-eating surrender monkeys anyone? Ed.).

    Update 15/09/24: Trump has continued to make unsubstantiated claims about immigrants in Springfield to such an extent that his cult-like followers have targeted the Springfield’s city Hall and other buildings with bomb threats and a side serving of racial hatred.

  • Days out ideas. Time machine required

    When parliament rises for the summer recess, the period until it reconvenes in the autumn is traditionally known as the silly season. This time of year was traditionally when the press would scramble around desperately for something newsworthy and printable.

    This has changed somewhat in recent decades due to the emergence of the 24 hours news cycle driven by technological change, including the rise of social media.

    However, the need to find worthwhile to publish is exacerbated when the silly season also includes a public holiday, a time when the great unwashed needs to be kept amused and entertained, which brings us to a piece in today’s edition of the Bristol Post/Live.

    Headline reads 7 of the prettiest villages near Bristol to visit in 2023

    Yes, you did read the headline correctly. It does say 2024. Sadly, in this particular item, Bristol’s Reach plc local news title has not followed standard Reach procedure and included affiliate links to time machine providers in the copy, so those intent on visiting Bristol’s hinterland last year will have to go and look for their own, at least until the proofreader returns from holiday. 🙂

  • Bristol says no to hate

    It was a tense day in Bristol yesterday. There were reports that fascist thugs were planning to ‘demonstrate’ against a legal practice specialising in immigration cases in the Old Market area. Lots of local businesses saw no alternative but to shut up shop early and board up their windows.

    Fortunately, things turned out differently: 2,000 lovely Bristolians packed West and Old Market Streets; the fascists stayed away and a party atmosphere prevailed.

    Even away from the focus of the demonstration there was some tension in the air, particularly where your ‘umble scribe lives in Easton, one of Bristol’s most diverse (in all senses) areas. Local shops in St Mark’s Road and the local community centre shut up early in anticipation of possible trouble, particularly as it was suspected the fascists were planning to march along Stapleton Road.

    As it happened, no march occurred either. Even if it had, there were lots of small knots of local residents keeping an eye out for trouble on the streets, especially in the vicinity of the mosque in St Mark’s Road.

    Also outside the mosque, your correspondent spotted two elderly white people sitting quietly on chairs, one holding a placard reading Bristol says no to hate. By the manner of their protest, your correspondent reckons they might have been Quakers.

    Placard on door to women's entrance to St Mark's Road mosque. It reads Bristol says no to hate

    When they left, they abandoned their placard on the women’s entrance to the mosque.

    Bristol, you should be proud of your citizens today,

  • The continuing menace of driverless vehicles

    All over the country, every day driverless vehicles are colliding with other vehicles and/or structures according to the local press.

    Here’s a typical example from today’s Bristol Live/Post to accompany the screenshot below.

    Headline - Live: Trains stopped between Bristol and Bath after vehicle crashes into bridge

    Nowhere in the entire report is there any mention of a driver, i.e. someone who might have been able to avoid the vehicle in question deciding to crash into the railway bridge of its own volition.

    Furthermore, the byline shows that someone is unfamiliar with basic English language. It reads:

    Services are at a stand.

    The byline is in fact quoted from Inrix, a US-based traffic data company which now operates in the Untied Kingdom, but seems to be unfamiliar with the word standstill. If any illiterate Inrix employees happen to be passing, it is defined as a condition in which all movement or activity has stopped.

    The phrase at a stand does exist, but its meaningin a state of confusion or uncertainty; undecided what to do next – is subtly different from standstill.

  • Bristol Live exclusive: man given dog’s face

    Cross-species organ transplants – a technique also known as xenotransplantation – are becoming more common in modern medicine.

    Such transplants usually involve pig or cow organs, but a new species has now entered the list of donor transplant species, according to today’s Bristol Live/(Evening) Post.

    Headline reads Man has face rebuilt by surgeons after it was ripped off his dog.

    However, judging from the headline the means by which the victim’s rebuilt face was provided sounds brutal, almost as if it was performed with malicious intent and without the use of anaesthetics, unless of course the author didn’t proof-read his piece adequately and failed to notice the absence of a simple two-letter preposition. 😀

  • Blakey’s discourteous successors

    Cyril 'Blakey' Blake played by actor Stephen LewisFrom 1969 to 1973, ITV aired a comedy entitled On The Buses. One of the main characters in this mixture of sexism and misogyny that passed for humour at the time was Cyril ‘Blakey’ Blake (right) played by actor Stephen Lewis. One of the duties of inspectors in those days was to check passengers were travelling with valid tickets.

    Skip forward half a century and inspectors have been replaced by so-called Revenue Protection Officers, by FirstWorstBus, which along with its fellow WorstGroup subsidiary GWR, has a virtual public transport monopoly in the Greater Bristol area. GWR also employs Revenue Protection Officers.

    Your ‘umble scribe had the misfortune to encounter two of these successors to Blakey yesterday afternoon, when they board a no. 24 service on the Stapleton Road. Dressed like pound shop police officers but with the words Revenue Protection Officers embroidered on the back of their uniform, the larger of the two proceeded to address the bottom deck of the bus: “Hi guys. Please have your tickets and passes ready for inspection”.

    Guys? Neither we the travelling public nor you are American! Besides that, guys in this country normally end up on bonfires every 5th November or thereabouts.

    That was informality bordering on the discourteous, which got your correspondent thinking of a more courteous and appropriate form of address, after a long discussion with others on social media yesterday and more especially bearing in mind the fact that some degree of formality is required when dealing with the public in a formal/official capacity.

    First of all the Hi! needs ditching. Far too informal. As an interjectory greeting, it dates to the 1860s and originates in the American Midwest. It should be replaced by a Good (morning/afternoon/evening) (delete as appropriate. Ed.).

    That’s the easy bit done. In these enlightened times ladies and gentlemen might not cover how everyone chooses to identify, e.g. the non-binary. Everyone would therefore seem to be the most apposite way to address a diverse inner-city busload of passengers. So, for the benefit of any passing WorstBus successors to Blakey, my suggested form of greeting when doing your job would be: Good (morning/afternoon/evening), everyone. Please have your tickets and passes ready for inspection, please!

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