Bristol | Steve Woods

Bart Nil gets a gong

27/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

According to the city council’s website: “The Lord Mayor’s Medals are awarded to highlight the local, unpaid community work and achievement that’s helped to improve the lives of Bristol’s citizens.”

Good news was received this morning that the Barton Hill Litter Group I help organise has been awarded a Lord Mayor’s Medal after being nominated by Lawrence Hill ward councillor Yassin Mohamud. Thanks, Yassin!

Alex, Steve and Ronit with the fruits of the March 2025 litter pick. Image courtesy of Eric Green

We’ve been sent a letter to confirm the award and attend the award ceremony next month at the Lord Mayor’s official residence, the Mansion House.

The letter from the Lord Mayor’s office is quoted in full below.

Dear Barton Hill Litter Group,

Re: The Lord Mayor of Bristol’s Medal
As you may be aware, the Lord Mayor of Bristol’s medal is awarded to Bristol’s unsung heroes who serve the people of Bristol through voluntary and community work or charitable acts of work.

I am writing to inform you that Barton Hill Litter Group have been selected as a recipient.

The medal will be presented in a very special ceremony on:

Tuesday 15 April at 3.00pm and will be held at
The Mansion House, Clifton Down.

The Lord Mayor would be delighted if you and a guest could join him and other recipients. I will also be writing to the person who nominated you to attend the ceremony.

I would be grateful if you could confirm your attendance via lordmayor [at] bristol.gov.uk by Wednesday 9 April. If you are unable to attend, please let me know if there is anyone who can represent you on the day?

Bristol City Council will issue a press release and the press may wish to contact you in advance of the ceremony. Please can you confirm if you are happy to be contacted by the press and for information on your nomination to be released publicly (including social media).

Yours, etc.

Congratulations to all our regular and occasional pickers. You’ve done yourselves, us and the district proud. Give yourselves a hearty pat on the back!
In your own time, Bristol City Council!

26/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media, Politics

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
The best part of 30 years ago,the late cycle campaigner Chris Hutt of Bristol’s Cyclebag remarked that perhaps the simplest way in which mobility within the city could be improved would be to tweak the timings of pedestrian crossings so that they switched over to the pedestrian green phase within seconds of the button being pushed.

Fifteen years after Chris’ death it looks like something similar to what he suggested is finally being implemented – albeit half-heartedly – by Bristol City Council.

Today’s Bristol Post reports that around 100 crossings – i.e. a fraction of those in the city – will be changed as suggested by Chris all that time ago.The change has been described by councillors as a “cost-effective way to get traffic-calming measures” that have already proved popular on some busy roads. The setting, known as “pre-timed max”, will also be installed on new crossings as they are provided.

In addition, the tweak will only be made to stand-alone pedestrian crossings, not those associated with junctions where they are just as badly needed and could be equally as beneficial.

Commenting on the scheme, Green Councillor Emma Edwards said: “When people realised what had happened, I got phone calls saying ‘can we have one down here and there, and it would be useful here’. Residents really love them and it’s such a cost-effective way to get traffic calming measures in and to help with things like school routes.”

What has taken you so long, Bristol City Council?

Your ‘umble scribe’s best guess is that the idea was filed away in the “not invented here” cabinet combined with the propensity of highways department staff not being able to see beyond the bonnet of their respective motorised tinned three-piece suites.

Given these shortcomings, your correspondent is only prepared to give the council one extremely grudging cheer.
A tidier BS5

25/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

It’s been a good day for a tidier and hopefully more pleasant and liveable BS5.

For the second week in a row, Bristol City Council had arranged for skips to be dropped at four sites in Lawrence Hill ward for residents to fill with the rubbish that couldn’t be collected by normal waste rounds. The sites are shown on the following map.

Before providing the skips in Easton last week and this week, St Paul’s residents had previously benefited from their presence on the streets.

Yesterday morning your ‘umble scribe received an email from a council contact: could I possibly help out at one of the sites?

I duly did, turning out at 9.00 am for skip delivery. It didn’t actually turn up until nearly 10 am. By 10.45 it was full and your correspondent regretfully had to turn people away or direct them to the other skip sites.

I was very pleased to be relieved by a proper council officer at 11 am.

While babysitting the skip, I also had one Bristol Waste‘s community engagement officers stop for a chat. She had organised a community litter pick on Stapleton Road for later that morning. I saw them on my way for a late breakfast; they were hard at work and doing a good job near the junction with Easton Way.

Anyway, well done to Bristol City Council and Bristol Waste for arranging some extra resources for tidying BS5 and the community litter picking team. Your efforts are appreciated. One repeated remark which was made about the skips was can we please have them again, possibly regularly?
Mermaids, volcanism and… Google Translate!

18/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Oddities, Social Media, Tech

Google Translate, the Mountain View behemoth’s translation service is noted for not being very good on technical terminology, even of the most basic kind. Furthermore, it also struggles with a little thin called context, i.e. the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea and in terms of which it can be fully understood.

When Google Translate gets the context wrong and confuses protecting the public with ancient Greek mythological figures, the result is at the very least amusing and at must alarming and downright dangerous, as revealed by the following social media post by Prof. Jenni Barclay of the University of Bristol.

Prof. Barclay’s research is the reduction of risk and prevention of disaster in volcanic settings, with a particular focus both on volcanic processes and the social processes that amplify volcanic risk.

My question for Prof. Barclay is are mermaids a social process?

Mis-translations definitely are!
March litter pick

02/03/2025 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

Yesterday saw the regular monthly community litter pick in Bristol’s Barton Hill, which takes place on the first Saturday of each month.

On a sunny but initially cool morning four of us turned up and spent an hour and a quarter clearing up Ducie Road and its council-owned car park, a regular dumping ground for fly-tippers, as well as a convenient repository for spent catering size nitrous oxide canisters.

The team dismantled one fly tip and bagged it up for collection by Bristol Waste along with our ‘swag‘, which will be collected – hopefully speedily – by Bristol Waste.

Alex, Steve and Ronit with the fruits of our litter pick.
Image courtesy of Eric Green

Afterwards we retired to the Wellspring Settlement for light refreshments.

Thanks to my fellow pickers for tidying BS5.

See you next month on the 5th!
Farewell, Onj (1958-2025)

14/02/2025 Steve WoodsBristol

Earlier this week, you ‘umble scribe received a text message after 10pm in the evening – never a good sign.

And so it proved: my old friend André Sparkfield, affectionately known as Onj, had passed away on Monday.

I first met Onj at a mutual friend’s house party some 30 years ago and was instantly attracted by his generosity and warmth.

That was before I really knew of his artistic and creative side, which was truly impressive.

Onj was a stalwart of the party and festivals scenes in the south west, providing decor for the likes of Bearded Fiend, Marcel Mouton, Mutant Dance and Tribe of Frog.

Onj and myself worked together every year for 15 years on Trinity‘s free annual fireworks party. I lit the bonfire, Onj lit the fireworks, usually by hand (a spectacularly dangerous looking activity, says someone standing next to and tending several cubic metres of flaming wood. Ed.) until he got sophisticated in the latter years and used electronic firing so he could appreciate his handiwork.

Onj with a humorously-named display firework

Of those times, Emma has written as follows:

Onj lit up the night sky at countless gatherings and events; not least through his many incredible free fireworks displays over the years at Trinity. These spectacular shows captured the spirit of creativity, joy and community. Displays that stopped traffic, attracted thousands and served as a cornerstone of what makes a city like Bristol sparkle.

I can’t better Emma’s words.

Thank you for being my friend, Onj

Rest in peace, dear.

Update 13/03/2025: the celebration of Onj’s life was attended by over 300 people despite the coldness of the day. A great send-off for a great man.
Councillor-sized bins in BS5

29/10/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Politics

Yesterday your ‘umble scribe was invited to take part in a site visit to Stapleton Road for councillors on the city council’s Environment & Sustainability Committee. Also in attendance were senior council officers, including the head of the Neighbourhood Enforcement Team, representatives of Bristol Waste Company (BWC) and Easton ward councillor Jenny Bartle. Unfortunately, only two of the members of the committee showed up, although one of those was its chair.

We took the best part of an hour to wander up and down a half kilometre section of Stapleton Road, during which some all-too familiar and depressing sights were seen, such as house clearances (right) and piles of trade waste outside closed down shops.

Both your ‘umble scribe and officers present pointed out that the area was afflicted by many interrelated problems, e.g. pavement parking by selfish motorists combined with fly-tipping makes using the footways impossible in places, particularly for those such as parent with prams and buggies, or the disabled.

However, BWC’s community engagement team used the opportunity to plan future visits and actions to help residents present their waste and recycling properly. We were also informed how fly-tips were ranked by priority for removal, as well as the special bag collection arrangements along Stapleton Road.

We also noted changes to the local street furniture, including the installation of councillor-sized bins to cope with the litter!

The new bins have appeared at junctions close to where takeaway food shops are concentrated on this section of Stapleton Road and it appears to be part of wider efforts to replace/upgrade litter bin provision across Bristol’s Easton and Lawrence Hill wards.
Bristol Live exclusive: M4 diverted via Somerset

01/10/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Media, Oddities

The London to South Wales motorway, otherwise known as the M4, runs from Chiswick in the west of London to Pont Abraham Services near Pontarddulais in Sir Gaerfyrddin (that’s Carmarthenshire for monoglots. Ed.). It passes through or close to the major towns and cities of Slough, Reading, Swindon, Bristol, Casnewydd (Newport), Caerdydd (Cardiff) Pen-y-bont ar Ogwr (Bridgend), Port Talbot and Abertawe (Swansea).

Route of the M4. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Or rather it did: until a traffic report on Sunday in Bristol Live which saw road repairs move it several tens of kilometres south from South Gloucestershire, the unitary authority in which Tormarton is situated to Somerset.

Fact checking is important when reporting the news, except it seems when one works as a Reach plc ‘journalist‘: or the newsroom atlas has inexplicably gone missing; or is non-existent.
Curved handles

29/09/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

Friday’s Bristol Live/Post had a piece on an appeal to the public for information on an incident that happened a while ago in Easton. The vital part of the appeal reads as follows:

Investigating officers have released a picture of a man, who was riding a silver road bike with curved handles, who they would like to identify in connection with the assault. They said it took place on Stapleton Road on Wednesday, August 7.

Curved handles? Since when has a bicycle had handles, let alone curved ones.

At first, your correspondent believed this was just another of Reach plc ‘journalists’ publicly displaying his/her ignorance of the English language, bearing in mind the fact that the correct use of terminology – le mot juste as the French would have it – is vital for comprehension and a lack of confusion on the part of the reader.

The police press office also provided a useful picture of the suspect, plus bicycle complete with those mysterious curved handles.

Those infamous curved handles. Image courtesy of Avon & Somerset Police.

Anyway, your ‘umble scribe went looking for Plod’s original press release on the Avon & Somerset Police website.
.
The following sentence can be read therein:

The man pictured is described as white, slim, in his 20s or 30s and has dark hair and facial hair. He is seen wearing a black Adidas hooded top and tracksuit bottoms. He is in possession of a silver road bike with curved handles {sic].

That’s right! Those curved handles actually originated at police headquarters out at Portishead and not in Bristol’s infamous Temple Way Ministry of Truth.

This is curious as the police allegedly require high standards from their staff as a recent advertisement for a communications officer reveals.

You will have strong oral and written communications skills, an exceptional eye for detail…

The use of the phrase curved handles does show that the author has written communications skills but not strong ones, whilst the lack of an exceptional eye for detail is displayed by an ignorance of the importance of the correct use of terminology.

Words matter, except in Plod’s press room, whilst the ‘journalist’ responsible for copying and pasting the original press release should have been diligent enough to notice the original error and not repeated it, but as a former sub-editor cum media studies lecturer friend pointed out, today’s media studies student (and by implication graduates. Ed.) do not have a very high standard of English.

Finally, hose curved handles are known to most folk outside the police press office and Bristol Live/Post as drop handlebars.
Council seizes fly-tipper’s van

27/09/2024 Steve WoodsBristol, Media, Politics

There was a rare item on the Bristol Live website today. Bristol City Council decided to publicise an element of its enforcement activities against fly-tippers and other environmental criminals.

Normally a shy and retiring organisation where its enforcement activities are concerned, the council is very publicity-shy about the number of people it deals with for environmental crimes, preferring quietly to issue fixed penalty notices (FPNs) of up to £1,000 a time. However, the council has this time taken firmer than normal action against an alleged fly-tipper by seizing the alleged offender’s vehicle in the city’s Hartcliffe are and towing it away, as well as the more unusual step of publicising its operation.

Image courtesy of Bristol City Council Neighbourhood Enforcement

The council was acting under section 34b of the 1990 Environmental Protection Act – the right to search or seize vehicles if a fly-tipping offence has been committed, the vehicle was used in the commission of the offence and proceedings for that offence have not yet been brought, or if the vehicle is about to be used or is being used in a fly-tipping offence.

Having repeatedly pleaded with the council to publicise its actions – if only for their deterrent effect – your ‘umble scribe is very pleased to see this welcome change and only has a further five words of advice to those in waste management and enforcement down the Counts Louse*: keep up the good work!

* = The traditional spelling for and pronunciation of the local authority’s headquarters within the city.

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