Steve Woods

Generic carbon-based humanoid life form.

  • Font for fascism

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Tech

    Convicted serial offender and fascist Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, who for some inexplicable reason prefers to be called Tommy Robinson, has brought out a book with the help of a ghost writer Peter McLoughlin.

    For a day the book entitled Manifesto was top of Amazon UK’s best-seller chart, according to The Guardian, is is currently unavailable on Amazon’s website.

    Cover of Manifesto written by Peter McLoughlin with interference from Stephen Yaxley-Lennon

    Whilst the cover looks like the flag of St George folded in half, the text below the title dubiously claims the book deals with Free Speech, Real Democracy and Peaceful Disobedience, whilst what Yaxley-Lennon and his supporters indulge in is freedom to be racially prejudiced, fascism and violent disorder, as the media have duly reported down the years.

    However, the most salient feature of the cover that caught your correspondent’s eye was that the title and the names of the book’s authors were all written in the Comic Sans font.

    This friendly sans serif font is popular in place like primary schools due inter alia to its assumed legibility. This font, termed notorious by none other than the BBC, has also been in existence for 30 years this year.

    However, the font has not proved universally popular, as is imparted by its Wikipedia page.

    Film producer and The New York Times essayist Errol Morris wrote in an August 2012 posting, “The conscious awareness of Comic Sans promotes—at least among some people—contempt and summary dismissal.” With the help of a professor, he conducted an online experiment and found that Comic Sans, in comparison with five other typefaces (Baskerville, Helvetica, Georgia, Trebuchet MS, and Computer Modern), makes readers slightly less likely to believe that a statement they are reading is true.

    Contempt and summary dismissal are both apposite to anything that comes out of Yaxley-Lennon’s mouth, from his pen (or in his case crayon. Ed.) keyboard or camera.

  • Know worries

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics

    The verb to know and the associated noun knowledge are both concerned with the possession of information, awareness, familiarity, recognition and the like.

    Over the centuries this has resulted in some very specialised uses. One of these is the phrase carnal knowledge, described by Wikipedia as “an archaic or legal euphemism for sexual intercourse“. Thus the verb to know can take on sexual connotations. The most notable example of this usage is in the King James Bible in Luke 1. This is where Mary receives news from the angel Gabriel that she is to be mother of the son of God. When so enlightened, she replies as follows in verse 34, implying she is either unmarried, a virgin, or both:

    Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?

    Three members of the Metropolitan Police
    Hello, hello, hello!
    What are you writing about here then?
    Besides the field of human physical relationships, another field in which know has a particular meaning is law enforcement. The phrase in question in this context is “known to police“. Anyone who is known to police is not usually a person who drops into the station regularly for tea, biscuits and a chat. The phrase implies one has been arrested, charged and possibly convicted too, i.e. one has a criminal record.

    Or at least it did until this week.

    Yesterday’s Bristol Live/Post carried a report of an Avon & Somerset Police Question Time on 14th October featuring Chief Constable Sarah Crew and Clare Moody, the elected Police & Crime Commissioner.

    At one stage the discussion turned to human trafficking and modern slavery. The Chief Constable remarked that places of employment where trafficking was suspected included car washes, nail bars, care homes and agriculture.

    To this Ms Moody added:

    Victims of modern slavery and human trafficking are some of the most vulnerable people in our society.


    In order to be able to intervene in this criminality you have to be able to identify it’s happening. Your own threat assessment estimates that only ten per cent of the victims of this crime are known to Avon & Somerset Police.

    Is Ms Moody implying that 10 per cent of slavery and trafficking victims have a criminal record or have been previously arrested by Avon & Somerset’s finest? Or is she unaware of the special meaning of known to police?

    Your ‘umble scribe suspects the latter.

    Is known to police on the route to becoming another archaic or legal euphemism? Add your thoughts in the comments below.

  • Bristol Live exclusive: M4 diverted via Somerset

    Steve WoodsBristol, Media, Oddities

    The London to South Wales motorway, otherwise known as the M4, runs from Chiswick in the west of London to Pont Abraham Services near Pontarddulais in Sir Gaerfyrddin (that’s Carmarthenshire for monoglots. Ed.). It passes through or close to the major towns and cities of Slough, Reading, Swindon, Bristol, Casnewydd (Newport), Caerdydd (Cardiff) Pen-y-bont ar Ogwr (Bridgend), Port Talbot and Abertawe (Swansea).

    The route of the M4
    Route of the M4. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

    Or rather it did: until a traffic report on Sunday in Bristol Live which saw road repairs move it several tens of kilometres south from South Gloucestershire, the unitary authority in which Tormarton is situated to Somerset.

    Headline reads Motorway lane shut in Somerset after road repairs 'fail to set'

    Fact checking is important when reporting the news, except it seems when one works as a Reach plc ‘journalist‘: or the newsroom atlas has inexplicably gone missing; or is non-existent.

  • Whom the gods wish to destroy…

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Politics, Social Media

    The seventeenth and eighteenth centuries saw the revival of a phrase dating back to ancient Greece and such luminaries as the philosophers Sophocles, Plato and the playwright Aeschylus. That phrase, still with us today, is generally rendered as Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.

    All of which bring us neatly from ancient Greece and the Enlightenment to the 21st century and the United States presidential campaign.

    Kindly step forward disgraced former president, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat, one Donald John Trump, an immodest man with much to be modest about.

    Despite being the worst president in modern times, the felonious Trump is once again running for office. One reason for this might be to keep him out of jail for his 34 current felony convictions, with probably more to follow for stealing classified documents and other high crimes and misdemeanors (as per the US constitution).

    However, as the campaign has progressed – not necessarily to The Donald’s advantage – it has become increasingly apparent that Trump is becoming increasingly incoherent and possibly senile.

    Take, for example, the post below on his Truth Social account on the havoc caused by Hurricane Helene recently.

    Note in particular the use of block capitals, a sure sign of something awry.

    Post reads DEVASTATION IN THE SOUTH LIES SQUARELY ON THE SHOULDERS OF THE INEPT BIDEN AND HARRIS ADMINISTRATION. THIS HURRICANE NEVER WOULD HAVE COME ANYWHERE CLOSE TO OUR BORDERS AND WREAKED HAVOC ON THIS BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY IF I WERE STILL IN OFFICE. THE FRAUDULENT 2020 ELECTION HAS ONCE AGAIN WROUGHT A TERRIBLE FATE ON AMERICA!

    Yes, you did read that correctly: it was all the fault of the incumbent Biden-Harris administration, which is a fairly typical Trump assertion. However, the claim in the next sentence that the hurricane would never have come near the US of A reveals delusions of divine powers, i.e. the ability to control the weather.

    This is not the first time Trump has had difficulty with a hurricane. Those with long political memories may recall Sharpiegate during The Donald’s disastrous occupancy of the Oval Office. The hurricane’s name was Dorian and, as CNN reported at the time, little Donny used a black Sharpie (a brand of felt-tipped pen popular in the USA. Ed.) to alter an official National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration map to include Alabama in the hurricane’s predicted course.

    Make America Grate Again, eh Donald? 😉

  • Curved handles

    Steve WoodsBristol, Language, Media

    Friday’s Bristol Live/Post had a piece on an appeal to the public for information on an incident that happened a while ago in Easton. The vital part of the appeal reads as follows:

    Investigating officers have released a picture of a man, who was riding a silver road bike with curved handles, who they would like to identify in connection with the assault. They said it took place on Stapleton Road on Wednesday, August 7.

    Curved handles? Since when has a bicycle had handles, let alone curved ones.

    At first, your correspondent believed this was just another of Reach plc ‘journalists’ publicly displaying his/her ignorance of the English language, bearing in mind the fact that the correct use of terminology – le mot juste as the French would have it – is vital for comprehension and a lack of confusion on the part of the reader.

    The police press office also provided a useful picture of the suspect, plus bicycle complete with those mysterious curved handles.

    Those infamous curved handles. Image courtesy of Avon & Somerset Police.

    Anyway, your ‘umble scribe went looking for Plod’s original press release on the Avon & Somerset Police website.

    .

    The following sentence can be read therein:

    The man pictured is described as white, slim, in his 20s or 30s and has dark hair and facial hair. He is seen wearing a black Adidas hooded top and tracksuit bottoms. He is in possession of a silver road bike with curved handles {sic].

    That’s right! Those curved handles actually originated at police headquarters out at Portishead and not in Bristol’s infamous Temple Way Ministry of Truth.

    This is curious as the police allegedly require high standards from their staff as a recent advertisement for a communications officer reveals.

    You will have strong oral and written communications skills, an exceptional eye for detail…

    The use of the phrase curved handles does show that the author has written communications skills but not strong ones, whilst the lack of an exceptional eye for detail is displayed by an ignorance of the importance of the correct use of terminology.

    Words matter, except in Plod’s press room, whilst the ‘journalist’ responsible for copying and pasting the original press release should have been diligent enough to notice the original error and not repeated it, but as a former sub-editor cum media studies lecturer friend pointed out, today’s media studies student (and by implication graduates. Ed.) do not have a very high standard of English.

    Finally, hose curved handles are known to most folk outside the police press office and Bristol Live/Post as drop handlebars. 😀

  • Council seizes fly-tipper’s van

    Steve WoodsBristol, Media, Politics

    There was a rare item on the Bristol Live website today. Bristol City Council decided to publicise an element of its enforcement activities against fly-tippers and other environmental criminals.

    Normally a shy and retiring organisation where its enforcement activities are concerned, the council is very publicity-shy about the number of people it deals with for environmental crimes, preferring quietly to issue fixed penalty notices (FPNs) of up to £1,000 a time. However, the council has this time taken firmer than normal action against an alleged fly-tipper by seizing the alleged offender’s vehicle in the city’s Hartcliffe are and towing it away, as well as the more unusual step of publicising its operation.

    Image courtesy of Bristol City Council Neighbourhood Enforcement

    The council was acting under section 34b of the 1990 Environmental Protection Act – the right to search or seize vehicles if a fly-tipping offence has been committed, the vehicle was used in the commission of the offence and proceedings for that offence have not yet been brought, or if the vehicle is about to be used or is being used in a fly-tipping offence.

    Having repeatedly pleaded with the council to publicise its actions – if only for their deterrent effect – your ‘umble scribe is very pleased to see this welcome change and only has a further five words of advice to those in waste management and enforcement down the Counts Louse*: keep up the good work!

    * = The traditional spelling for and pronunciation of the local authority’s headquarters within the city.

  • Two cities, two cuisines, one politics

    Steve WoodsBristol, Oddities, Politics, Social Media

    All cultures, countries and regions around the world have their own local cuisines, some indigenous, some introduced by incomers and yet others a mixture of the two.

    Also termed food cultures, your correspondent notes that food is often inextricably linked to politics as well as identity, as has been apparent in two separate examples from the cities of Bristol and Chicago.

    In your ‘umble scribe’s sixty-something years of existence, food in the Untied Kingdom (mis-spelling deliberate. Ed.) has changed beyond all recognition with dishes and tastes from right around the world become increasingly available. I well remember the curiosity and excitement when the first Chinese takeaway opened in my home town of Market Drayton in North Shropshire all those decades ago.

    Since those long gone days, takeaway food has become a staple in the British diet; and with the advent of delivery services such as JustEat and Deliveroo, customers can now order takeaways without having to rise from their sofas.

    In this post, your correspondent notes that in two separate cites – Bristol and Chicago.

    Bristol

    First Bristol and a comment on the ephemeral nature of catering establishments despite everyone’s need for food and delivery services. The subvertising in the following photograph was spotted on the city’s Fishponds Road yesterday afternoon.

    Note how the subvertising has got the background colour of the original JustEat sign almost right, as well as matching the original font faithfully.

    Subvertised sign on disused takeaway now reading Just Eat The Rich

    As regards the phrase ‘Eat The Rich, your ‘umble scribe thought it was a modern phrase arising out of anarchist political thought in response to ever-increasing increasing wealth inequality and food insecurity. However, it actually goes back rather further.

    That rather further back takes us to the days of the Terror which followed the French revolution. On 17th October 1793, Pierre Gaspard Chaumette, President of the Paris Commune, gave a speech to the city in which he apocryphally remarked that the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau said the following:

    Quand le peuple n’aura plus rien à manger, il mangera le riche.

    In English this translates to the following:

    When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich.
    Chicago

    Next to Chicago and more specifically The Wieners Circle, which describes itself as an ‘iconic hotdog stand on the north side of Chicago serving up high quality street food with a side of insults‘ [sic].

    The Chicago eatery has responded in feisty fashion to the unfounded assertion made by the disgraced former president, insurrectionist, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual predator, business fraudster, congenital liar and golf cheat, one Donald John Trump, that immigrants in Springfield, Ohio were eating residents’ pets during his recent televised debate with the Democrats presidential election candidate, Kamala Harris, as shown below.

    Illuminated sign for The Wieners Circle withe the addendum Immigrants eat our dogs

    Politics and food also have a long relationship. Back in 1798, Cartoonist James Gillray published ‘John Bull taking a Luncheon: – or – British Cooks, cramming Old Grumble-Gizzard, with Bonne-Chere‘ shortly after Nelson’s victory over the French at the Battle of the Nile. The strong link continues today as shown not only by these examples from Bristol and Chicago, but also by American Republicans renaming French fries ‘freedom fries‘ after French opposition to the 2003 Iraq war (cheese-eating surrender monkeys anyone? Ed.).

    Update 15/09/24: Trump has continued to make unsubstantiated claims about immigrants in Springfield to such an extent that his cult-like followers have targeted the Springfield’s city Hall and other buildings with bomb threats and a side serving of racial hatred.

  • The ‘little list’ man returns

    Steve WoodsLanguage, Media, Politics

    'Lord' Peter 'Little List' Lilley in 2022One of the more interesting aspects of the current Nasty Party (© Theresa May) leadership competition is the number of old Tory politicians sticking their heads back above the parapet to endorse various Conservative leadership contenders. In addition, it serves as a reminder to the rest of us just how awful those candidates are, as well as how dreadful the endorsers were when in office and still are today.

    Yesterday’s Guardian reminds us that in an article in The Times (paywalled) that ‘Lord’ Peter Lilley, who was Secretary of State for Social Security under John Major, as well as occupying other ministerial and party positions under other party leaders, announced his endorsement of leadership contender Kemi Badenoch (a person so unpleasant Guardian political sketch writer John Crace has described her as being able to “start a fight with her own reflection. Ed.), drawing attention to her engineering background and aligning it with the scientific background of the sainted Thatcher, as follows:

    Since Margaret Thatcher, a science graduate, nearly every prime minister and party leader of both the Tories and Labour has been a wordsmith. They mostly studied politics, philosophy and economics, or law. They were good at using words, all too often twisting words to explain away failure and rationalise broken promises, or finding out what people want then telling them what they want to hear. But they lacked the mindset to organise and plan the deployment of resources and people.

    Lilley may have denounced the law and Oxbridge PPE graduates who tend to dominate modern politics and their twisted use of words, but he himself has not been immune in his time from twisting words for political effect, as was more than apparent in his 1992 speech to the Conservative Party conference, in which he referred to his notorious ‘Little List‘ which demonised those unfortunate enough to have to claim social security benefits under a Tory government – usually demonised as fraudsters and scroungers.


    The transcript of Lilley’s parody from Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado reads as follows:

    I’ve got a little list / Of benefit offenders who I’ll soon be rooting out / And who never would be missed / They never would be missed. /
    There’s those who make up bogus claims / In half a dozen names / And councillors who draw the dole / To run left-wing campaigns / They never would be missed / They never would be missed. /
    There’s young ladies who get pregnant just to jump the housing queue / And dads who won’t support the kids / of ladies they have … kissed / And I haven’t even mentioned all those sponging socialists / I’ve got them on my list / And they’ll none of them be missed / They’ll none of them be missed.

    Do you remember what is said about people who live in glass houses, Mr Lilley? 😀

  • CMA objects to Google’s anti-competitive ad tech practices

    Steve WoodsMedia, Politics, Tech

    Google logoThe Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) has announced today its provisional finding provisionally that Google has abused its dominant positions through the operation of both its publisher ad server and buying tools to restrict competition in the UK.

    The provisional findings relate to how Google gives precedence to its own ad exchange – harming competition and, as a result, advertisers and publishers.

    This action in the UK parallels the actions of US and EU agencies which are also investigating similar concerns in respect of the search behemoth.

    As set out in a statement of objections issued to Google on Friday 6th September, the CMA has provisionally found that when placing digital ads on websites, the vast majority of publishers and advertisers use Google’s ad tech services in order to bid for and sell advertising space.

    The CMA is concerned that Google is actively using its dominance in this sector to give precedence its own services. In so doing, Google disadvantages competitors and prevents them competing on a level playing field to provide publishers and advertisers with a better, more competitive service that supports growth in their business.

    In its 2019 market study of digital advertising, the CMA found that advertisers were spending around £1.8 billion annually on open display ads, marketing goods and services via apps and websites to UK consumers.

    The CMA has found provisionally that, since at least 2015, Google has abused its dominant positions through the operation of both its buying tools and publisher ad server in order to strengthen AdX’s market position and to protect its AdX advertising exchange from competition from other exchanges. Moreover, due to the highly integrated nature of Google’s ad tech business, the CMA has provisionally found that Google’s conduct has also prevented rival publisher ad servers from being able to compete effectively with DFP, harming competition in this market.

    Online advertising process
    Overview of the ad tech stack, key intermediaries and Google’s ad tech products

    This practice is still continuing, according to the CMA. The Authority is therefore considering what may be required to ensure that Google ceases these anti-competitive practices and do not do the same or similar in the future.

    The CMA may impose a financial penalty on any business found to have infringed the Chapter II prohibition of up to 10% of its annual worldwide group turnover.

  • New point release for LibreOffice 24.2

    Steve WoodsLinux, Open Source, Open Standards, Privacy, Tech

    The blog of The Document Foundation (TDF) has today announced the sixth point release of LibreOffice 24.2 for Linux MacOS and Windows, which it is describing as “the best choice for privacy-conscious users and digital sovereignty“.

    LibreOffice 24.2.6 banner

    This point release includes over 40 bug and regression fixes over LibreOffice 24.2.5 to improve the software’s stability, plus interoperability with legacy and proprietary document formats. LibreOffice 24.2.6 is aimed at mainstream users and business environments.

    LibreOffice for business

    For business use, TDF strongly recommends the LibreOffice Enterprise family of applications from ecosystem partners with a range of dedicated value-added features, long-term support and other benefits such as SLAs.

    Next week, power users and technology enthusiasts will be able to download LibreOffice 24.8.1, the first minor release of the recently announced new version with many bug and regression fixes.

    As per usual, LibreOffice users, free software advocates and community members are invited to support The Document Foundation with a donation.

    Download LibreOffice 24.2.6. Please note that the minimum requirements for proprietary operating systems are Windows 7 SP1 and macOS 10.15.

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